No matter what someone does, if you have a deep-rooted limiting belief that you don’t deserve love, you will always struggle with feeling loved. You will look for reassurance outside of yourself and feel that nothing the person says or does reassures you long term. You will try to sabotage the relationship because deep down you need to be consistent with your external reality. If you don’t believe that you deserve love and your partner shows you affection and love, there will be a conflict within you. This will create tension and make you do things that sabotage the relationship like having doubts, pushing the person to do more or show you more love, provoke a fight, being jealous, etc.
You need to work on the subconscious belief that you don’t deserve love in order to replace it with the belief that YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. When you will do that, you will start feeling loved and the feeling will stay without you having to search for proof or reassurance. By doing that, you will find peace within yourself and remove all the pressure you put on your partner. Therefore, your relationship will get better and if you are single, you will be less dependent on finding love outside of yourself and instead be motivated to love yourself more which I’m turn will attract your right partner.
Or maybe that you don’t you love yourself? I explain it right here:
One of the main reasons you don’t love yourself is because you didn’t learn to love yourself. If you were mistreated in your childhood, heavily critiqued or compared, if you have experienced verbal or physical abuse, if you were bullied, not respected or controlled or dominated, you didn’t have a healthy environment in which you could develop self-love.
A child will not put the fault on his parents if he is abused (because a child needs to feel safe) but instead, will put the fault on himself and will start making up beliefs about himself like: I am a bad kid; I don’t deserve to be loved; I am not enough; I don’t deserve to be happy; my needs are not important; etc.
Unfortunately, as we are growing up, we bring these negative beliefs and self-worth issues into our adulthood without realising that we are shooting ourself in the foot. We forget that we are not children anymore and that we have power over our life. So we keep dragging these limiting beliefs like a bag of garbage that we refuse to throw out.
Today, you don’t depend on anyone anymore, you can start believing that you are lovable and worthy, that you are a good person and that you are enough!