Are you afraid of being abandoned?

The fear of being abandoned

So we are born into this world dependent on the adults that are responsible of us. We place our faith and trust into our caretakers and parents. We love them unconditionally as children and we expect the same in return.

But the attachment we so deeply long for doesn’t always happen in the most ideal way. If there is fear involved, abuse of any kind, negligence, addiction, no emotional support, or a role exchange (the parent becomes the child and the child becomes the parent) the child will have difficulty forming a safe emotional bond with her caretakers/parents.

Later on in her life, the girl will grow up to be an woman that is fearful in her relationships because she hasn’t learned to form an intimate and safe emotional bond with the people that were her primary caretakers which in turn, has resulted in her not trusting or loving herself enough to feel safe within her. She is still craving that feeling of having an intimate emotional connection to another person. So all her life, this woman will search for a man to make her feel secure and to reassure her and will have trouble making herself feel secure within herself in relationship with others.

In order to not feel the fear of being abandoned, a woman with abandonment issues will learn to abandon herself first in order for others not to abandon her. Personally, I had trouble saying how I truly felt, I had the tendency of always saying yes to other people, to put myself last, to people please and to not truly be myself but rather be someone whom I thought would deserve love and affection…bringing me more disappointment and loss of self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence and ultimately loss of identity. I was a true chameleon, and I didn’t know whom I truly was because I was so busy trying to be someone else.

I used to be so fearful of being abandoned in my love relationships that I would reject my partner before he could reject me. I was not able to be vulnerable and to show my true feelings and emotions in a relationship because I didn’t trust that I would be safe in being vulnerable. I had to learn that it was ok for me to cry in front of a partner even if that partner would not be able to have empathy for me. The important thing that I realized is that I had to become a loving mother for my inner child and not have expectations from others to reassure or comfort me. I was the only responsible of my feelings and emotions and I had to learn to become a loving mother to inner child.

There was a certain relationship breakup at a moment in my life where I had so much abandonment pain from the past waking up in me, that I had become obsessed at getting that partner back in my life. I did everything in the book: manipulating him, threatening him, letting him use me, not respecting myself and losing myself in all that mess. All out of a desperate attempt to not feel my childhood abandonment pain. I had to learn to cut the cord with my ex, to let him go, to feel whatever I had to feel without grabbing him as an escape from feeling my own emotional pain and grief.

For a woman that is afraid of being abandoned (emotionally or physically), when her partner is not able to reassure her and make her feel that she is important to him, all her insecurity from the past will resurface. She will cry, she will beg, she will make treats and try to manipulate him into making him behave the way that will bring her a sense of security.

This was me and I had to really work on releasing my abandoning emotional wound so that I would not need external validation or reassurance anymore. Accepting to release my grief and sadness when it came to my abandonment issues, was an important step in my healing process. During that time, I had therapy sessions, I did journaling but true healing came from transforming my subconscious negative beliefs I had about myself : that I was not worthy of love, that I was not enough, that I was not lovable, etc., etc.

The fear of abandonment has its roots in the emotional and intimate bond that the child has created with her parents or caretakers making her susceptible to attracting to her, relationships where she will make desperate attempts to be reassured that she will not be abandoned.

When a love partner would go out with friends, I would become worried, would feel bored and would not know what to do with myself. I would call him repeatedly and ask him to come back home and end up suffocating and invading him…I didn’t know how to respect his boundaries as I didn’t had any awareness of mine…I had to learn to find ways to keep myself busy in his absence and I soon found out that I could have a lot of fun being by myself and attending to things that were interesting to me. I had to learn to love spending time with myself and reparent myself by comforting myself in need.

I hope this article brings you comfort that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Bianca (aka Mystical Queen Goddess)

Because every deeply wounded woman deserves abundance at all levels!

Do you struggle with negativity in your head?

Beautiful soul,
If you struggle with negativity, it’s not your fault…
If you had a childhood where most of the things you heard were :
– negativity
– criticism
– being put down
– being ridiculed
– being compared
– being humiliated
Guess what happens with time?
The voices of your parents or caretakers become your own!
You lose contact with your higher self…and your negative voices take control of your mind!
in short….
You end up playing and dancing to the same playlist in your head….because that’s the only song that you have danced to….the negative, destructive, sabotaging playlist songs…
And then you manifest events and people that mirror your thoughts….
You have people abusing you, taking advantage of you, not respecting you, saying mean things to you, putting you down or criticizing you…
But they are only reflecting back your inner dialogue…remember that manifestation is a mirror of your vibration!
The thoughts you put out in the universe come back to you so if you want to change what the universe sends you as experiences, you have to change your thoughts!
The 5 steps to change the negative playlist and take back control of the conversation that takes place in your brain is:
1. Become aware of the thoughts your are recycling over and over again in your head…
2. Decide to switch to a new playlist focused on more positive and encouraging things you say to yourself….replace : I am not beautiful with something like: God created me beautiful enough…; I am not smart with something like: I am smart enough
If the new thought seems too farfetched, choose one that seems more believable to your brain and with time, you can bring it to the next level: I am very beautiful and smart!
3. Repeat, repeat, repeat. the more you practice switching from negative to more positive thoughts, the easier it gets to switch the playlist…
4. Repeat the same positive affirmations as soon as you wake up and just before falling asleep if you want TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS!
5. Practice this awareness and switching exercise each time you remember and let me know how it goes for you, I want to know! Does it help you? Don’t be shy beautiful soul, I am here to guide you!
Happy switching! 😍🙌
By the way, I have created a new FB group: “Healing for the deeply wounded spiritual women”.
If you recognize yourself, I invite you to join this non-judgmental, welcoming and loving group…I will add FB lives, posts, quotes to help you heal, raise your vibration, change your mindset, manifest…etc. but more focused on the basis of manifestation: DEEP HEALING!
Bianca aka Mystical Queen Goddess
Because every deeply wounded woman deserves abundance at all levels!

How to transform trauma into an abundant life!

How to transform traumatic experiences into an abundant life!

We all have trauma from our past, some more than others. In life, we have two choice when it comes to our traumas.

Either we ignore them and deal with the aftermath of repressed emotions, ingrained patterns and limiting beliefs or we face them with courage, knowing that a little bit of uncomfortable emotional release and writing your thoughts to identify your limiting beliefs, it’s worth the big rewards of releasing and transforming trauma.

So what are the benefits of releasing trauma? It’s so easy to get traumatized (each child lives a traumatic event in a different way and interprets it in a different way), but not that easy to identify it and know exactly the scars that it left in us and still has an impact on the way we think, we feel and act in your life therefore in the way we manifest things, situations or people in our life.

Either lack or abundance, we are creators. By healing our trauma, we go from manifesting lack and scarcity to manifesting abundance at all levels!

Releasing trauma means releasing stuck emotions from the body like anger, resentment, sadness, grief, jealousy, envy, etc. It means that the body doesn’t have to cope with holding on two those toxic and low vibrating emotions, therefore releasing the energy that you probably might lack. It could also mean that those stuck emotions won’t have to crystalize in your body, leaving you prone to certain diseases that the body develops in order to cope with the trauma your are holding in it.

By releasing your stuck emotions, you will get access to natural and more joyful emotions and feelings like more joy, hope, positivity, compassion and love. As I mentioned before, you will regain back the energy that you were spending on keeping your trauma emotions stuck in your body by not expressing and releasing them.

By releasing trapped emotions in your body, you get to next stage which is identifying your limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are beliefs that limit you from believing in the limitless abundance of life and in the limitless potential that you possess. These limiting beliefs keep you stuck in a robotic way of behaving because they drive your thoughts, emotions and resulting behaviors.

If you believe that you are not worthy of love, you will sabotage your love relationships. If you believe that money is scarce, you will subconsciously behave in a way in which you will always end up feeling that money is scarce. If you believe that the world is a dangerous place to live in, you will end up isolating yourself at home and get depressed and lonely. Each limiting beliefs eats away at your potential of living life at its fullest and stops you from having access to and expressing your full potential.

As a consequence of transforming your limiting beliefs, your patterns will start to change because once your change your beliefs, your thoughts change, your emotions change and your behaviors change. It’s a natural way of behaving, always stemming from your beliefs. If you think you are valuable, you will not let a man treat you in a way that makes you feel not valuable. If you think money is your best friend, you will always feel and be abundant, when it comes to money. If you think your opinion is valuable, you will not hesitate giving your opinion even if that could ruffle some feathers! There is no limit to what you can be, have and do when you remove the limits of your mindset!

When you have a negative and limiting belief, you will feel low vibrational emotions, you will lack motivation, you will have negative thoughts, resulting in sabotaging behaviors that will not bring you the results you wish. Versus when you have a positive and expansive belief, where you will feel joy and hope, therefore having positive and hopeful thoughts, which will result in behavior that will bring you the manifestation you wish for.

By working on your trauma and releasing the junk, ingrained patterns and limiting beliefs, your energetical frequency goes higher and higher with each trauma that you tackle and heal. By raising your energetical frequency, you rise up on the level of manifestation and you manifest better situations, better opportunities, better partners, more money, more self-love and self-confidence as well as more abundance at all levels! The secret of manifesting abundance is always frequency, the higher the frequency, the more powerful manifestor you become!

As you can see, healing trauma has numerous benefits which go from, gaining energy, being healthier, accessing your full potential and manifesting abundance, changing your behaviors to more empowering ones, raising your frequency, which in turn raises your power of manifestation and gives you access to a life of abundance!

I speak from my own transformation experience and how I went from having a trauma-induced lack mindset to an abundance mindset and my life completely changed and I have today abundance at all levels. You can too if you are serious about healing your trauma, what are you waiting for? Are you ready to do the work?

Mystical Queen Goddess
Spiritual and manifestation guide, creator of the Transformation 360 method and counselling therapist

How to get unstuck in life – for the spiritual wounded woman!

How to get unstuck in your life for the spiritual wounded woman!
If you feel stuck in your life right now and you have deep wounds from the past, I want you to know that you can get on the other side of the tunnel. You might not probably see the light at the end of the tunnel right now, but I promise you that that light exists.
It does require some work on your part and for you to know some tools and this is why I am writing this article.
I was once stuck in many areas of my life and I had to do the required work to get unstuck.
1stand most important thing that you need to understand is that you need to work at a deeper level than you might be used to. If you try affirmations here and there, crystals, candles or other spiritual tools but you don’t attend to the real blockages that you have, you will stay stuck. Yes, crystals are wonderful and potent as affirmations are but if your subconscious beliefs and your emotional blockages and ingrained patterns don’t get released and transformed, you will not change your overall frequency. You will stay in a low vibrational frequency that will attract to you more of that you don’t want, lack and unhappiness.
Wanting to use spiritual tools without doing the deep level work on yourself is like putting pink icing and flowers on a dry cake. The icing doesn’t change anything if the cake itself is not good. But when the cake itself is moist, not too sweet, creamy and delicious, the icing can be a very nice touch but won’t change the overall experience of the cake. So my point here is to work on the cake and the icing will only enhance the overall experience!
Now that I have made a point, let’s get back to the serious stuff. You got emotions trapped in your body coming from your past that you didn’t get to express and release. You got limiting beliefs that you bought in your head in order to survive and that today tax you from abundance and happiness. You got ingrained patterns that you act on without even thinking or realizing that they sabotage you.
So how do we transform and release the junk?
Tool number 1: you take the most cheap and ordinary journal or piece of paper (I have no money excuse won’t work here!) and you start writing. You address anything that makes you sad, disappointed, mad, envious, jealous, angry, rejected, etc….The purpose of this exercice is for you to start following the thread that will bring you to your limiting beliefs. Now it’s not the time to analyze or try to understand what you are jotting down on paper because it won’t make any sense to you and it doesn’t have to. These emotions might come from a very long time ago in your life so it’s normal to not understand them. So don’t try to!
What you are actually doing here, is taking responsibility for your life by starting your healing journey and it starts with releasing any thoughts and emotions that come up to the surface. Your rational mind will try to sabotage you so you have to push it away and let yourself express your emotions on paper. You don’t have to write a thesis, stop trying too hard, nobody will see what you are writhing down, you won’t get a mark on your paper! So let yourself loose and free and be gentle and loving to yourself. Pat yourself on the back because you are taking the first step on your healing journey! I am proud of you! And if you reading this article and are thinking that you don’t have time to write, get this: your life will stay the same and you’ll be stuck in a rut! Make a priority of doing the work that will bring you on the other side of the tunnel! When you get your priorities straight, guess what? Time magically appears! Besides, nobody can do the work but you!
Tool number 2: Once you have expressed your thoughts, feelings and emotions, go back and reread everything and start underlying your limiting beliefs because they will inevitably come up.
Today, I felt miserable and lonely. He never called me nor texted me. I waited the whole day for him to give me a sign and nothing….I am so unwantedI feel so unlovable….being alone feels so lonely….
So as you see above, your limiting beliefs might be: I am unwanted, I am unlovable, etc.
Not that you have identified your limiting beliefs, it’s time to transform and choose more empowering beliefs because you know that your beliefs attract your reality and heavy emotions keep your vibration low. Low vibration equals manifesting more of what you don’t want to manifest!
Now make a table with two columns in write the negative beliefs in the left column and the new positive beliefs in the right column. Example: I am lovable and loved. People find me irresistible. You create your own positive and empowering beliefs, based on what resonates with you the most.
Now remember what I was saying earlier, that affirmations are not enough but there is a twist to my point. What matters when it comes to affirmations, is the timing that you are doing them. If you are doing them randomly during the day, only your conscious mind will be aware of them. But if you do them at specific moments of the day or during meditation when you brain is in theta or alpha waves, your subconscious mind will be able to be reprogramed with the new positive beliefs. Since your subconscious mind drives everything when it comes to your thoughts, emotions and actions, this is the correct way to do your affirmations!
The best timing to do affirmations is: 1) as soon as you wake up in the morning when you are still a little sleepy; 2) when you are almost falling asleep; 3) at the end of your meditation (if you meditate). If you are doing positive affirmations for at least 30 days at these peak moments of the day, you will transform your limiting beliefs and by doing that, your life will start transforming as well.
Your life is a mirror reflection of your beliefs about yourself, the world that surrounds you and of your sense of worth and deservedness. By transforming your mindset, you will transform your life!
Tool number 3: Now that you are more aware of the reasons you were feeling the way you were feeling and the limiting beliefs that were blocking you from manifesting your desired outcomes, you also realize that you are not a victim of the past anymore. That you are not a victim of your circumstances anymore and that today as an adult you can change your life because you don’t depend on anyone anymore like you used to depend on your caretakers as a child. You now have power over your life!
So now it’s time to change your sabotaging behaviors and patterns by again….talking to your subconscious mind. If you want permanent and real change, the key is always to do the work at the subconscious level, meaning that you have to reprogram your subconscious mind.
Only forcing a positive attitude and trying to have positive thoughts and doing affirmations when your brain is not in a state where in can be reprogramed (beta, gamma waves), you will not be able to change anything at the subconscious level. The subconscious mind is responsible of 90% of your thoughts, beliefs, emotions and actions so this is important for you to understand! If the work is not being done at the subconscious level that manipulates you like a puppet on strings, you will be a forever victim of your subconscious mind! But once you understand this important point, you are on your way to transforming your life!
So how do you transform your ingrained patterns that helped you to survive until now but sabotaged you out of getting what you really want and need? You talk to yourself like you would talk to your inner child in these peak moments I was talking about above.
I am now a lovable and worthy person. I can take my rightful place in this world. I can confidently ask for what I want and respect myself at all times. I love and accept myself fully and each day I am becoming a more authentic version of myself. I love myself.
Don’t use negative words or negative form when you are doing affirmations or when you are changing your patterns. Example: I don’t get rejected anymore. I don’t have debt anymore. Instead use: I am lovable and loved. I am creating more financial abundance.
By doing this loving self-talk to that inner child in you that feels like a victim of her circumstances, you reprogram your subconscious mind and by doing so, you will start to behave, to think and to act differently in a more empowered way! By stopping the sabotaging behaviors, you once had, you start attracting to yourself exactly what you want and need!
In conclusion, your present life and circumstances stem from your blocked emotions, your limiting beliefs and your ingrained patterns. Once you act on them at the subconscious level, your life will start mirroring back to you your new frequency and beliefs. You will start being a better version of yourself without forcing anything. You will still use your fun spiritual tools but they will only be the icing on the cake! So have that cake and eat it too! You can have abundance at all levels! If I managed to go from lack to abundance in my life and I was exactly where you are right now, that makes it possible for you as well! But do the work, you are worth it future Queen!
Bianca Piculeata
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counseling therapist, spiritual guide and Creator of the Transformation 360 method.

The 5 emotional wounds, abandonment, rejection, humiliation, betrayal and injustice

 The 5 emotional wounds– Abandonment, Rejection, Humiliation, Betrayal and Injustice
In this article, I am going to speak to you about the 5 most common emotional wounds to help you identify if you have them and to help you better know and understand yourself as well as how to heal yourself. Just by identifying the emotional wounds that have impacted you, will help empower you and you’ll be able to understand and accept yourself more.
Every emotional wound can leave painful feelings, ingrained patterns and limiting beliefs but there is also a gift to uncover if you take the time to heal and transform them. In this article, I will go over them in order to show you that if you are serious about healing your emotional trauma, you will be winning on the other side. There are beautiful gifts that await for you on the other side of recovery.
It’s not always what happens that is the reason behind emotional wounds. Most often, because of the vulnerability, the personality and sensibility of a child, it’s how the child interpreted the event that will have the ultimate impact on her. The same event can happen to two children and the impact will be completely different. The more sensitive child you were, the more certain events and behaviors of your primary caretakers will have an impact on you.
1. The abandonment emotional wound
There doesn’t have to be real abandonment in order for a child to feel abandoned. Children are very sensitive and they can easily feel abandoned. It can be your mother that promised you something and she didn’t keep her promise, it can be your father not showing up at your birthday, it can be the lack of emotional support. It can also be real abandonment, like a mother abandoning her child or the father disappearing by leaving his wife and children. It doesn’t really matter how the child in you felt abandoned, what really matters is how you, as an adult, are coping with your abandonment issues.
You can very easily be triggered and feel abandoned. Example: you set up an appointment with your boyfriend and he arrives 30 minutes late without warning you. You wait and you wait and you get so anxious and feel so many painful emotions but you don’t know what to do. You might feel unsafe, not important, not valuable et so on….You are angry and you want to cry and when you finally meet with him, you are so angry and you scold him. You might even feel rage and not want to talk with him anymore. What we notice here, is that the trigger is rather small in comparison with the emotions that are felt and this is a warning that healing is needed here. It doesn’t excuse the behavior of your boyfriend but rather shows the difference between the trigger and the emotional pain that is felt.
If you don’t tackle this emotional pain, each time there will be a trigger, you will feel the same pain over and over. You will try to cope with it by trying to change your partner or even control him but because you take power over someone else instead of trying to change yourself, the universe will send you the same trigger over and over until you understand that you hold the power over your healing and over your life. You will attract the same situations over and over until you have had enough and you release your past trauma related to abandonment.
How to do you heal from abandonment issues? After an event where you have felt abandoned, you go home and you get your journal out. You write down absolutely everything that you feel, you let yourself scream and cry, you don’t judge or rationalize what comes out. You do this until there is nothing left and you have found your limiting (negative) beliefs. Underneath every emotional wound, there are often limiting beliefs. You can easily transform your limiting beliefs by affirming new positive beliefs as soon as you wake up or just before falling asleep. You can apply this exercise for every emotional wound that I talk about in this article. I give you the exact 3 steps of healing your trauma in the video at the end of this article.
Another way to heal your abandonment wound is to practice self-care and to keep yourself busy when you feel alone and lonely. Do your favorite activities, put yourself first, practice a new hobby, do what brings you the most joy, create, learn, read, write, anything that fuels your soul. By putting yourself first, you will create that sense of security and importance that you so need to heal yourself.
The positive aspect of healing your abandonment emotional wound is that you learn to prioritize yourself, to take care of yourself, to love yourself and to take care of your own needs. When you are at this stage of loving yourself and putting yourself first, you will not be triggered anymore and in a situation where your partner is late, you might even feel just a bit disappointed and even make the decision to not wait after him. You will feel strong and empowered and make the best decision in every situation and not feel that you depend on someone’s else treatment because you always have your back.
Also ask yourself: where in your life are you abandoning yourself? Where do you put others first? Where do you choose partners that abuse you in the name of love? Where do you cling onto other people because you can’t be alone? We often abandon ourselves and expect others to be there for us when we are not loving and putting ourselves first.
On the spiritual side, the abandonment wound teaches you that you are the child of God. Even if everyone abandons you, you are never abandoned by God whom loves you. When you connect with the love of God, you will feel an unconditional love that will heal you and fill you up.
2. The rejection emotional wound
The rejection emotional wound stems from being rejected over and over in your childhood years. It hurts you so much that you’ll eventually learn to avoid rejection and you’ll reject yourself before anyone can reject you. You become fearful, you walk on egg shells and you calculate every little gesture that could mean you could get rejected and hurt.
By learning to avoid people in order to not get rejected, you don’t get to create new relationships and you might even find yourself isolated, sad and lonely. You need to realize that not all people reject you and if you have had parents that didn’t know how to love you but rejected you, is not your fault. You need to stop rejecting yourself because you don’t depend on anybody anymore. When you stop rejecting yourself, you don’t really care anymore because the worst pain doesn’t come from being rejected but from rejecting yourself. A child will always put the fault on her in order to survive, therefore learn that there is something wrong in her that makes people reject her.
The truth is that there is nothing wrong with you and you were always perfectly imperfect, valuable and enough.
Getting back in the zone of going towards people and start building new relationships is vital to your happiness. Start testing one day at a time and you’ll see that the majority of people will not reject you so that you train your brain to take the risk of going towards new people.
You can do the same healing exercise referenced above for the abandonment emotional wound in order to release any trapped emotions in your body and so that you transform any limiting belief that you might have because of your rejection wound. By doing that, you won’t have to force yourself to go towards people, you’ll be more natural because you would have removed all emotional and mental blockages by doing the healing work.
The positive side of healing the rejection wound is that you learn to accept yourself fully and to fully embrace whom you are no matter if people like you or not. Knowing that you always accept yourself no matter what, will make you feel more empowered and courageous when you interact with other people therefore giving you the chance of enriching your social life.
Ask yourself, where am I rejecting myself? Where do I give in to the fear of being rejected instead of putting my needs first and take that risk of being rejected? Where do I reject myself because of the fear of being rejected by others?
On the spiritual side, the rejection wound teaches you that you are never alone. Your guides and angels always protect you and have an eye on you, therefore you are never rejected and alone. Loneliness is only an illusion created by the 3D world. In the spiritual world, you are always loved, guided and protected.
3. The humiliation emotional wound
Humiliation can stem from being ridiculed, laughed at, judged or critiqued in your childhood years or it can happen when you are humiliated in front of more than one person. Humiliation can be a very painful emotional wound as well. You would feel shame and ridicule and you will learn to protect yourself by hiding whom you truly are, by wearing a mask to hide your true self. You will learn to avoid being center stage because you will learn to avoid humiliation at all costs. You will avoid showing your true self because you deeply believe that whom you are is shameful and should be hidden.
How do we heal from the humiliation wound? First, we start to accept that it’s ok to do mistakes, it’s ok to not be perfect, it’s ok to be different and unique, it’s ok to not have the perfect body. We should not be ridiculed for whom we are, how we behave or what we say or believe in. Healing starts with radical self-acceptance, with expressing any emotions related to our humiliation wound be it shame, anger, resentment, guilt, felling worthless, feeling bad, feeling not accepted. Once we accept that we are not perfect and that it’s ok to do mistakes, we stop caring about other people’s opinions and we start taking to risk of being and showing whom we truly are at our core. We slowly remove the mask that we wear and we show our true colors while being ok with other people’s views of us and we are our true selves no matter the consequences because we have learned to fully love and accept ourselves no matter what.
The positive side of healing your humiliation wound is that you get the courage to get out there a make a fool out of yourself because you are free of other people’s opinions or ridicule. It is so freeing to be yourself and to truly show whom you are authentically. You take critique with a grain of salt and only keep the constructive criticism and let everything else out. You put your own opinion above everything else, therefore letting others the freedom of being themselves. Because you free yourself, you give others the freedom of being themselves.
You have to ask yourself: where do I put myself in humiliating situations? Where don’t I respect myself and let others humiliate me and not take a stand for myself? Where don’t I stand up for myself and accept myself fully?
On the spiritual side, the humiliation wound teaches us to fully accept and embrace whom we are, to see ourselves as perfectly imperfect, to forgive ourselves and to shine our light no matter other people’s opinions or judgements. We are a spirit in a body first and foremost and we have come here to experience life through our unique view and personality and to learn from our experience and mistakes.
4. The betrayal emotional wound
The betrayal emotional wound stems from having your trust broken. Someone does something to you that makes you feel you can’t trust them anymore, something that broke the trust you had in them. If you confide in someone you trust and that person tells someone else about it or uses that against you for their own benefit or to critique, guilt or berate you, that is considered betrayal as well.
Betrayal has a big impact on your relationship because you will feel unsafe to confide yourself in that person, especially if that person is very close to you or is a love partner. You might try to repair the trust and take a chance again with that relationship but if that person betrays you again, this could harm the relationship or you could become very protective of what you are saying to that person.
If you learn to not trust a person that is very close to you that is supposed to love and protect and keep you safe and not use your vulnerability against you, you will have trouble trusting other people in your life. You will keep your secrets and your thoughts to yourself because you will have trouble trusting people.
How do we heal the betrayal wound? We express our emotions in relation to it and we choose what we share and what do not share until that person deserves our full trust. You can journal out any emotions related to how you felt when you were betrayed and find any limiting beliefs that stem from that wound. You can then transform these beliefs with more positive and empowering beliefs.
The positive side of healing your betrayal wound is that you learn to trust yourself before trusting others, that you learn to protect yourself when needed. You learn that ultimately you are the key keeper of your heart and that some people need to earn your trust before having access to it.
You have to also ask yourself where are you betraying yourself? Saying yes when you want to say no, trying to please other people while not taking into your account your own needs, accepting something that is not acceptable to you, not listening to your gut instinct, not following your intuition but other people’s opinions or advice.
On the spiritual side of things, the betrayal emotional wound teaches you that you have to ultimately trust yourself and be loyal to yourself. That you are responsible of protecting yourself and you should safeguard your vulnerability with people that don’t deserve your trust. It teaches us to stop betraying ourselves and listen to our inner guidance instead of listening to the outside noise and to take our own values into consideration instead of searching for outside validation and reassurance.
5. The injustice emotional wound
The injustice emotional wound stems from an injustice done into you in your childhood years. Something that you felt was not fair, and should have not been done to you. The injustice wound can leave a very deep scar in you and it can leave you feeling hopeless, angry, powerless.
You will see no solution and you feel that injustice that has been done into you can’t be repaired. Injustice is very painful as well because you feel that you can not change what has been done to you and that you have no power over what happened to you.
How do you heal your injustice wound? You express all emotions that come from that injustice wound and you transform your limited beliefs linked to that wound. You start making yourself justice on the things you can control and let go of the things you can not control.
Gift of the injustice wound: The best thing that can happen from the injustice wound is that we realize that we do have power in our life over other things. Were in your life you are not using your full power to get ahead in your life and get your dreams and objectives come true by applying your potential to make them true? Ask yourself: where am I betraying myself by putting my dreams and goals aside and by not fully investing myself in making them come true? Where am I betraying myself and not listening to my intuition? Where am I betraying myself by not affirming my needs and taking my rightful place and for standing for what I believe in? Where am I betraying myself by giving my time and energy to people that use me and occupations that don’t make me go forward in life?
On the spiritual side of things, the injustice emotional wound teaches us to stop sabotaging ourselves out of creating our best life. It teaches us to make ourselves justice by doing whatever necessary and fully applying ourselves and being consistent in making our dreams, objectives and dreams come true. It teaches us the importance of creating our best life by prioritizing objectives instead of giving away our time and energy to people and things that don’t deserve our valuable time and energy. It teaches us to consecrate ourselves fully to our dreams even if it means that we have to sacrifice, be consistent and focused. While we do not have control over everything in our lives and we might feel powerless, we do have control over some of it and this is where we can be powerful. Also, remember that nothing happens against you, everything happens for you, therefore, let life give you that necessary push towards the right direction by derailing you from the wrong path. Sometimes, injustice is a blessing in disguise!
If you are serious about emotional trauma, I have a video that gives you the 3 tools to heal trauma for good:
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method

Anxiety – Understanding and healing anxiety for good

Anxiety, understanding and healing anxiety
Warning: in this article, I will not teach you how to cope with anxiety (most of you know how to cope and survive with anxiety) but I will teach how to permanently get rid of it (with practical exercises) in order to find inner lasting peace.
There are many tools, tips and tricks on how to deal with and reduce anxiety but in this article I want to go to the deep root of anxiety and help you get rid of it because if I did, it is available to you as well. If someone tells you that you can not heal anxiety, it’s because they haven’t found themselves a way to do it, so they are spreading the wrong information. I shared a few tools myself on how to reduce and cope with anxiety but this article, I will not touch up on them because I wish to go a bit further.
Anxiety can be debilitating and real difficult to deal with. Let’s demystify it in order to gain clarity and be empowered when it comes to getting rid of anxiety for good. I personally have suffered with anxiety for many years and my only way to deal with it, was to eat my way out of it. I would stuff myself up with food in order to calm myself down and not feel the extreme fear that I would feel in certain situations from being triggered. I can confidently say today that my episodes of anxiety have completely vanished because I had done the required work that I will talk about later in this article.
PART 1 – Where does anxiety come from? Anxiety stems from limiting beliefs that we have believed to be true from early childhood between the age of 1 to 7. Because of things that we went through in early childhood and how they did affect us, we have made up beliefs about ourselves and the world surrounding us, in order to survive with trauma and difficult situations. These limiting (negative) beliefs have stuck with us from that early period and today we are limited by them in our daily live and they are the root of our anxiety.
This is how anxiety in the adulthood arises:
1. There is a trigger, example: your boss at work tells you that you have done a few mistakes in your work and is not very happy about it.
2. The trigger awakens your dormant limiting beliefs that could be the following: you are never enough and that you need to be perfect in order to be valued. Imagine a pool of limiting beliefs that lie dormant and when the triggers comes up (event), any of these limiting beliefs can be coming up to the surface in order to be acknowledged and healed.
Example: after your boss made that comment, you start feeling not enough and not valued and you feel the pressure of having to be perfect at work in order to be valued by your boss. You start being fearful of losing your job, you start panicking because you know you depend on that job and you freak out. Unconsciously you will fear losing your job, of not being able to pay your rent, of losing your home and dying alone and poor in the streets even. Your rational mind can go very far in a downward spiral when it comes to anxiety, you will start seeing the situation in a very negative way and have the impression that you have absolutely NO SOLUTION AND NO CONTROL over your situation.
3. Physical consequences of your anxiety (being triggered in your limiting beliefs. Example: you start having trouble breathing, you tremble, you have the impression that there is no air for you to breath, your heart beats fast, you go into panic mode, you become lightheaded and dizzy.
4. Superficial ways of dealing with your anxiety. You might be able to control your anxiety by smoking, drinking alcohol or eating or talking to a trusted friend or you might go home and still suffer from panic and emotional turmoil and not know how to deal with it. You might even try other superficial ways of shutting down your anxiety but the bottom line is that the ROOT OF YOUR PROBLEM IS STILL IN PLACE. This is where I want you to realize that you need to solve and heal the root of the problem and not be in survival mode all your life while trying to cope with your anxiety only with superficial ways that will not heal your anxiety in the long run.
PART 2 – How to permanently heal anxiety and regain your peace of mind?
Since now you know that behind anxiety, there are limiting beliefs, you become aware that once there is no limiting belief to be triggered, there is no anxiety anymore. When the limiting belief disappears, the trigger becomes irrelevant. When the limiting beliefs stays, any other situation happening in your life will trigger you in your limiting beliefs. So the true solution is to find and transform the limiting beliefs so that when the same or similar event occurs (that we gave as an example earlier), there will be no limiting beliefs to be triggered.
I told you earlier to imagine a pool of limiting beliefs that lie dormant and when the triggers comes up (event), any of these limiting beliefs can be coming up to the surface in order to be acknowledged and healed. Imagine transforming all your limiting beliefs for good. Imagine the same pool with no more limiting beliefs now. Even if there is a trigger (event), there is nothing to come to the surface anymore because every limiting belief has been neutralized and replaced. No limiting beliefs equals no trigger, therefore no more anxiety. If you are serious about applying yourself to heal your anxiety, this is the way to go about it.
So how do we go about doing that?
Step 1 – We journal the heck out of the trigger 😊 – some humor is always helpful! When I started doing work on my anxiety a few years ago, I had an erasing board in my room and each time I would come home anxious, I would write down all my emotions and not stop until I would find my limiting beliefs. That was a major stage in my life where I have healed my anxiety. So let’s start equipping you with my method of healing your anxiety as well!
Take a journal and a pen and start asking yourself these following questions:
How did I started feeling anxious, what was the trigger?
Step 2: Start writing down all the emotions that come up for you without judging them. You can make complete sentences or just jotting down how you feel. Example: I feel fearful, alone, abandoned, in distress, anxious, I see no solution.
Step 3: Next question to ask yourself is: what limiting beliefs are coming up for me right now? Start writing them down. Example: I am not enough; there is something wrong with me; I have to be perfect in order to be loved; etc.
Step 4: Let’s transform your limiting beliefs so that next time a similar situation arises, you are not triggered in your anxiety anymore. The more you transform your limiting beliefs the less situations will be triggering for you. And here is my reason of why anxiety might come back even if you had done the work explained here. The only valid reason that anxiety might come back is because there ARE NEW LIMTING BELIEFS THAT ARE COMING UP TO THE SURFACE AND NEED TO BE TRANSFORMED. If you have successfully transformed all your limiting beliefs (it takes time to identify them all), there will be no more triggers for you or very little.
Make a table with two columns in your journal : in the left-side column – identify your limiting beliefs. In the right-side column, create new empowering and positive beliefs. See following image as an example:
Once you have completed the required table of beliefs, it’s time for you to transform them.
There are a few ways to transform your limiting beliefs and I invite you to choose the one that resonates with you the most:
Option 1: as soon as you wake up, visualize your limiting beliefs being destroyed. Now visualize your new empowering and positive beliefs entering your body. Do this exercise for a few mornings until you feel that they stuck with you and you have no doubt that they are true.
Option 2: Do the same exercise as option 1 but do it at the end of your meditation if you do meditate. You can also find meditation on Youtube with no voice on them, and when you feel the more calm and peaceful, you can transform your beliefs as explained above.
Option 3: when you are ready to sleep and you are almost fallen asleep, you can do the same exercise as explained at Option 1.
The three options explained above are situations where your brain can be reprogramed and this is why you have to do this reprograming exercise at a specific time of the day or when you are most relaxed. You brain needs to be in theta or alpha brain waves in order to be reprogramed. Therefore, meditation and when you are feeling asleep are the times when your brain would be in theta and alpha waves so best used for this type of brain reprograming.
You will have to do this exercise multiple times in order to transform all of your limiting beliefs. Each time your anxiety comes up, there is a new opportunity for you to find and transform your limiting beliefs. But the limiting beliefs you have transformed will not be triggered anymore, only the ones that are still uncovered, will come up to the surface for the purpose of healing and transformation.
Best of all, transforming your limiting beliefs will not only have an impact on your anxiety but at many levels in your life. Imagine living all your life in a box because your limiting beliefs are doing just that: limiting you and putting you in a box. Imagine now removing these paralyzing and limiting beliefs and getting out of that small box that you have kept yourself in all your life. Imagine living from an unlimited perspective! A new world will open up to you! Your frequency will get higher and higher; therefore, you will attract to you more abundance at all levels. Moreover, by transforming your limited mindset, you will become empowered and your inner Queen-self will be awakened. Your intuition will become clearer and guide you to your best life! If that doesn’t motivates you to heal your anxiety, I don’t know what will!
So now you have all the tools necessary to heal your anxiety. Feel free to ask me any questions if you have any unanswered questions around healing anxiety and it will be my pleasure to guide you.
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

Here are the 10 amazing benefits of processing your emotions!

Here are the 10 amazing benefits of processing your emotions!
1. You will fill less empty – cutting yourself from your emotions is like denying a part of yourself – the more you allow yourself to feel, the more you have access to more parts of you that stay hidden. When you feel empty, it’s often because you are not in touch with past trauma, emotions from the past, parts of you that you have learned to hide in order to be loved and accepted.
2. Your intuition will become clearer – the more you express your emotions, the more you become centered and you get access to your wisdom, your inner gut feeling. When you don’t process your emotions, it’s like blocking intuition from reaching you. You need to become a clear vessel for your intuition to come through.
3. You could lose some weight (if you are used to drinking alcohol or eating when you don’t want to feel) – keeping your emotions buried had you piling on some weight. The less you need to burry your feelings and emotions, the less calories you’re intaking and the more unnecessary weight will start to drop off. The more you deal with and feel and express your emotions, the less you’ll go to food to help you cope.
4. You will feel more peace – it takes energy to not do what is natural to a human being – feeling your emotions, and the more you fight against your natural and born quality of having emotions, the more stress, anxiety will pile up in your system. Finding a healthy way to express your emotions be it journaling, seeing a therapist (etc.), speaking to a friend you trust and that is a good listener, etc, the more peace you will feel because underneath grief, sadness, anger, envy, fear, your soul is always at peace and trusting in a higher power.
5. Your energetical frequency will get higher, therefore manifest easier – if you hold low vibrational emotions, your frequency will be low, therefore you will keep attracting what you don’t want. The more you deal with your emotions and get them out of your system, the higher your frequency will get at and the easier will be for you to manifest what you want. Low frequency attracts low frequency situations and people and high frequency attracts high frequency situations and high frequency people to you. This is the law of attraction at work!
6. You will become more light and joyful – if you have built up emotional trauma, you might feel sad, depressed and heavy in your spirit. Put your emotions down on paper, talk to a non-judgmental and no-advice giving friend, paint a canvas without judging your artistic skills (dollar stores will do just fine). You need to express the negative emotions in order to access your positive emotions and anything else will be superficial, forceful and not lasting.
7. You will find the right solutions to your problems – if you keep your emotions bottled up, you will have the tendency to go in your head to find solutions and since the mind is limited (not like intuition – unlimited), you might not find the best solutions to your problems. If you deal with your pain, you get access to your intuition, therefore the best solutions will present themselves to you. By journaling and jotting down everything that bothers you on paper, you access the universal intelligence that you always have access to, if you do the necessary work.
8. It will become easier for you to put boundaries – if you get access to how you feel, you will uncover what its not ok for you and you will be able to better decide what boundaries you need to put around you in order for you to feel more respected by your friends, family or partner. If you ignore your inner boundaries and what you body is trying to communicate to you, you will not be able to know where you need to make yourself respected and communicate to others how you want to be treated. Others will not know your limits and you can not blame them because you don’t communicate clearly what is ok with you and what isn’t.
9. You will have less chances of becoming sick – emotions that are stuck in your system can become toxic for your body and for your body trying to deal with them and contain them, it could develop illnesses further down the road. I am not an expert on this, but I talk from experience and there are a few books that explain the emotional reasons for each illness. The more you get these toxic emotions out of your system, the less your body will have to express itself through sickness because there is so much that your body can take when it comes to toxic emotions.
10. You will uncover your limiting negative beliefs – behind every emotional blockage that you have, there is at least 1 limiting belief that is holding you back. The more I dove into my emotional blockages, the more I was able to uncover my own limiting beliefs and was able to transform them, and as a result, transform my life. Your limiting beliefs will limit you from experiencing your full power as a women, block you from loving and valuing yourself, from manifesting abundance in your life, etc. Limiting beliefs are truly disempowering and in order to uncover them, working to release your emotions is one of the easiest methods to be successful at finding your limiting beliefs.
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!