3 helpful tips to have a soul-to-soul queen communication in your love relationship without your ego interfering for a successful end result and a win-win situation!
If you are single, I am sure you have not always had it easy when it came to communicating with your love partner. If you are in a relationship, you can use the following tips to improve your communication. Let’s cut down to the chase – communicating with a partner it’s not always easy, especially when you were never taught how to properly communicate.
Communicating can be very difficult when you are trying to communicate from your ego. On the contrary, communicating from your heart can be quite easy but it doesn’t always come natural because if you come from a toxic family like me, you haven’t had good role models. You have probably learned early in your childhood to not say everything that you think and believe, to hide your true emotions and you might have even been judged for your sensitivity (hello empaths and lightworkers!!). You have probably learned to cut yourself off from feeling, hide your true self and communicate in a more rational and disconnected way. This way of communicating is seldom successful.
So let’s get practical and give you three helpful tips to improve your communication and bring it to the next level so that your communications go smoother and he ends up in your comfy bed and not on the couch this time…, unless you are addicted to the irresistible attraction that comes after a good fight! Nevertheless, letting your ego interfere from time to time it’s not a crime! Cut yourself some slack, we are not perfect and never will be (by the way I am! …ha ha…just kidding, far from that!)
Numero uno! – speak from a personal perspective, don’t be stuck on him, what he said or did…Don’t become a victim and take responsibility for your feelings. If you have an abandonment or rejection wound, a simple action or word could become a trigger for your past bottled emotions that need to come out. It’s like setting a pile on fire with a simple spark… So you need to see his action as a simple trigger of a older emotional wound (most of the cases but not always…). Example of better communicating:
– When you looked at that hot lady on the street, I felt insecure and had the feeling that you could leave me. I don’t want to control you, but this is how I feel when you look at other women. I need you to reassure me that our relationship is secure and I also need to be heard and understood. I even feel not important, rejected and not loved right now and I don’t understand why, but this is how I feel.
The fact that you speak for yourself and taking responsibility for your feelings and emotions, will make him to be responsible as well and he will be more willing to comfort and reassure you instead of defending himself because he feels attacked…
Numero dos! – Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, this is true heart to heart communication. If you need to cry, let yourself cry. If you are angry, that is ok, behind the emotion of anger, there is always sadness. Therefore, if you express your anger, you might also get in touch with your sadness. The more you let yourself vulnerable, the more you give him permission to be vulnerable as well. Behind vulnerability, sits real strength because it takes courage to cry and let yourself be seen as you truly are. The more you communicate from a vulnerable place, the more you can establish a true emotional connection and your relationship will become only stronger with time. Unless he has narcissistic tendencies or is a full blown narcissist (by the way, only a psychiatrist can diagnose a narcissist), in which case I won’t give you any advice, I am against being in a relationship with narcissist, so this article is irrelevant for you because those type of partners lack empathy (not being sarcastic, I have been in those types of relationships).
Numero tres – Olé! If you are overly emotional and your partner lacks empathy or doesn’t want to hear you, you need to be empathic to yourself like a mother would be to her child. It’s all about that inner child healing baby! You need to become that nurturing and empathic mother that you might have never had. Once you do that, you will feel much better and you will be less emotional in front of your partner. Of course, that means that you are in a relationship with an emotional unavailable partner and the question is, is that enough for you? Do you want to manifest an emotional available partner? I will let you ponder on that, if that is the case. And if you are one of the lucky ones that has a very empathic and understanding partner, then you are off to a very long and happy relationship!
Bye for now beautiful soul!