Today, I wanted to talk to you about invisible-to-the-eye childhood neglect and how you might still be affected by it without you even knowing it….
Neglect comes in many ways you know… It can be physical, emotional, affection-wise…
Neglect is not only related to what the eye can see but also to what the eye can’t see….
If you needed affection in your childhood but you were given crumbs, if you needed to be cuddled but you were pushed away, if you needed someone to listen to you but you were not heard or listened to, if you were emotional and you were judged for it, all of this is neglect!
All of these types of neglect will have a big impact on your mindset because a child needs to make reason of why she is judged, rejected, critiqued or pushed away when it comes to her own needs. By mindset I mean the way you think about yourself and the worlds that surrounds you.
In order to survive, a child will often put the fault on herself because how can she feel safe if she realizes that her parents are limited in the way they are taking care of her? Not trying to fault the parents, they are often doing their best even if the best is sometimes not enough.
In some situations, how can a child survive realizing that her parents love her with conditions or that they are not fit to be parents?
By consequence, the child will buy beliefs about herself that she is not enough, that there is something wrong with her, that she is not important and that her feelings and needs are not important. Is that you?
She will eventually shut off parts of herself and only let people see what she thinks is acceptable.
She will internalize that she is safe and accepted only when she shows sides of herself that are acceptable and do not bear the risk of being judged.
Neglect will have an impact at various levels, here are some of them, do you relate?
1. Hiding parts of yourself to the world takes energy and you will often feel lethargic or have low energy.
2. You don’t feel free, you feel that you have to wear a mask. By wearing a mask, you feel safe and accepted.
3. You are not able to use your full potential in order to succeed in your life. You only have access to a few of the facets of your inner diamond and are not able to shine fully or use all of your talents and gifts.
4. You haven’t learned to give importance to your needs. You have learned to put others first and you will often end up being resentful when others are not doing the same for you.
5. You haven’t learned to deal with your emotions, often resulting in you using food, alcohol, drugs or other addictive behaviors in order to numb and cope with your pain.
6. As a result of having shut off your feelings because there was no safe place for you to express them, you will have trapped emotions in your body. You can have anger, sadness, guilt, shame, resentment, humiliation, and all of these low vibrational emotions will keep your vibration low. A low vibration will attract to you situations and people that vibrate at the same level, which means that you will be stuck at attracting to you the same difficult experiences over and over again.
7. You feel trapped, stuck and frustrated that you can’t seem to attract to you what you really want because you keep experiencing the same situation over and over.
8. You will experience relationships where you will feel exactly like in your childhood: not important, not valued, nor loved unconditionally.
9. You will have limiting and negative beliefs about you that will keep you stuck in sabotaging behaviors and patterns that don’t bring you the happiness that you are desperately looking for.
10. You don’t feel worthy of receiving because you have learned that your needs are not important. Therefore, any attempt by others to give you something (be it a gift or love or attention) will be brushed off and rejected or replaced with you offering them something in return because you don’t feel worthy of receiving.
11. You have trouble being seen vulnerable, so you hide your true self behind a mask of being ok with almost everything.
I am curious if this article speaks to you and if yes, you can let me know or ask me any questions!
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!