20. Why you don’t feel loved – I explain it here:

No matter what someone does, if you have a deep-rooted limiting belief that you don’t deserve love, you will always struggle with feeling loved. You will look for reassurance outside of yourself and feel that nothing the person says or does reassures you long term. You will try to sabotage the relationship because deep down you need to be consistent with your external reality. If you don’t believe that you deserve love and your partner shows you affection and love, there will be a conflict within you. This will create tension and make you do things that sabotage the relationship like having doubts, pushing the person to do more or show you more love, provoke a fight, being jealous, etc.
 
You need to work on the subconscious belief that you don’t deserve love in order to replace it with the belief that YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. When you will do that, you will start feeling loved and the feeling will stay without you having to search for proof or reassurance. By doing that, you will find peace within yourself and remove all the pressure you put on your partner. Therefore, your relationship will get better and if you are single, you will be less dependent on finding love outside of yourself and instead be motivated to love yourself more which I’m turn will attract your right partner.
 
Or maybe that you don’t you love yourself? I explain it right here:
 
One of the main reasons you don’t love yourself is because you didn’t learn to love yourself. If you were mistreated in your childhood, heavily critiqued or compared, if you have experienced verbal or physical abuse, if you were bullied, not respected or controlled or dominated, you didn’t have a healthy environment in which you could develop self-love.
 
A child will not put the fault on his parents if he is abused (because a child needs to feel safe) but instead, will put the fault on himself and will start making up beliefs about himself like: I am a bad kid; I don’t deserve to be loved; I am not enough; I don’t deserve to be happy; my needs are not important; etc.
 
Unfortunately, as we are growing up, we bring these negative beliefs and self-worth issues into our adulthood without realising that we are shooting ourself in the foot. We forget that we are not children anymore and that we have power over our life. So we keep dragging these limiting beliefs like a bag of garbage that we refuse to throw out.
 
Today, you don’t depend on anyone anymore, you can start believing that you are lovable and worthy, that you are a good person and that you are enough!
 

19. Why you don’t accept yourself – I explain it here :

If you have trouble accepting yourself, this can stem from your childhood. If you didn’t feel accepted as you were by your parents or caretakers you will have trouble accepting yourself later in life. You have internalized those negative voices in your head and your small loving inner voice is buried somewhere beneath all this noise: “You aren’t good enough”; “Look how better she is than you!; “You are so dumb”; “You cry too much; “You are too this or too that”; “Don’t do this, don’t be like that”. Being constantly critiqued, diminished, compared, laughed at, humiliated or judged will make you think that you are not ok as you are, that you should be something else, that you have to be like other people that you think that they are better than you, that you are damaged or weird, that what you are is not acceptable or ok, that you have to hide what makes you unique and original. The downside of that is that you hide what makes you so unique and beautiful and you learn to be a white sheep surrounded by other white sheep instead of being a pink sheep that is proud to be different.
 
Later in life, you don’t get to know and discover whom you truly are and accept yourself fully with all your facets whatever they are because you are either ashamed or scared to show them. You have to realize first that you don’t have to be anything that yourself since there never was, there is not and there will never be someone exactly like you. It is your uniqueness that makes you valuable and special. You have to learn to embrace your quirks and limits as well as your talents, gifts and difference. Learn to observe those negative voices in your head and to replace them with a kind and accepting voice that ignores that poisonous chattering in your head and instead has a loving and encouraging tone. You don’t have to be perfect, neither better than someone else, neither something else that you already are, you have to be your best version and strive to be better each day. You unique point of comparison should be the yesterday version of yourself.
 
Look at whom you admire and know that you have those same qualities and gifts as them or you can develop them with time. If not, you would not be able to recognize those same characteristics in them. You have to recuperate those facets of yourself that you learned to hide in order to be accepted or loved. Those facets of yourself are waiting for your permission to show themselves and help you become your best version!
 
If your current partner doesn’t accept you as you are, it is because he is your mirror. Your partner is there to mirror to you what you are doing to yourself in order for you to heal. It is a gift in disguise!

The more you learn to accept yourself as you are and less importance you will give about what others think of you. You also have to accept that it’s ok to not be fully accepted by others, it’s ok to not be loved by everyone. You are the only one that has the responsibility to love and accept yourself fully. You are God’s creation (or however you call the creator of the universe) and that makes you special and precious. Never forget that!

1. How not to be manipulated by a man

Here are three tips on how to prevent being manipulated by a man:
 
1. He must be consistent
 
Don’t take into consideration a man’s words but instead look at the consistency of his actions towards you. Is he consistent in giving you attention and time? Is he consistent in calling or texting you? Is he consistent in making you his priority? Is his consistent in making you feel important and valuable?
 
If he’s only giving you attention when he wants something from you, don’t take him seriously. You deserve much better than someone whom is wishy washy. A man that is consistent for a long period of time, shows that he is serious about the relationships he has with you.
 
2. His words are matching his actions
 
Whatever he promises to you, he honors it most of the time. He has the right to change his mind but if he’s only words and no actions, be aware. Don’t be fooled by beautiful words if his actions say otherwise. Him honoring his promises to you shows that you are important and valuable to him.
 
3. Men can be wonderful until….
 
…they get what they want. If he’s charming, loving and caters to your needs and after you give in with sex for example he changes radically, then you fell into his trap. Men have this talent of manipulating you into believing that they are so good to you and can easily wear a mask to make you believe it. As soon as they get what they want, they remove their mask without any shame and you get to see their true nature. How to not fall into that trap? Take your time to get to know him well and don’t give him sex until you both have feelings for each other and you feel ready. By taking your time to really know him, establishing a heart to heart connection and being vulnerable with each other, he will have the time to open his heart and fall in love with you or to leave if he’s not interested in getting to know you other than physically.
 
I hope that those tips bring you more awareness into the psychology of how man can be and you avoid getting into the trap of being manipulated by a man next time you are in a similar situation.

2. How to find self-esteem after a break-up

If you lost your self-esteem after a difficult break-up, there are a few ways you can reclaim your self-esteem. I will share 4 tips in this article:
 
1. Remind yourself that you are God’s creation
 
You are God’s (or whatever name you give to the creator of the universe) creation so that means you are special. There never was, there is not and there will never be someone exactly like you. You are unique and nobody can replace you, therefore you must value yourself accordingly. One day you will find your soulmate and the fact that you are single and heartbroken today doesn’t diminish your value.
 
2. Remind yourself that you are limitless
 
There is nothing that you can not create if you have a dream and the talent for it. No matter how you feel right now: lonely, sad or angry, not worthy or not loved, tell yourself that this is temporary. You are not defined by a man’s love towards you. You are defined by the beauty that resides within you and by the power of the love that you hold into your heart. Take your power back by concentrating on your dreams and objectives and give yourself what you want. Practice self-love during this solitary period and do things that bring you bliss.
 
3. Take pride in sharing whom you really are
 
This is the time to get to know yourself more. What have you left on the side that you would like to reintroduce into your life now there is space for it? What activities or passions are waiting for you to reintroduce into your life? What do you want to create? What do you want to share with the world? You have unique gifts that can benefit the world and you could start sharing these with the ones that would love to benefit from them!
 
4. Take your time to digest your pain
 
If you have difficult emotions that you need to process like anger or sadness, take your time to get through them. The sooner you express them, the shorter the period of mourning the relationship will be. You can write in a journal or talk to someone that you can trust. You can learn from this relationship what you no longer want in a relationship and what lessons you have learned. If this relationship didn’t work out, is because someone else is better for you. It is ok to think about memories or fall into the trap of seeing your ex or wanting to go back to him, nobody is perfect. The important thing is to decide one day that you deserve better and that going back to something that will not work out, is turning in circles and not giving yourself the space to heal.
 
I hope that these tips shed more light on this topic and until next time, much love.

3. Why do you keep going back to your ex? I explain it right here:

Are you one of those women that keeps going back to her ex? You would like to stop doing it but you can’t stop going back?
 
Here are 4 reasons that could explain why you keep falling into the same trap:
 
1. You don’t want to deal with difficult emotions
 
You would rather think about him or try to contact him rather to sit down and feel your emotions. You are afraid that some painful emotions would come up and that you would not be able to process them. I recommend that when you feel that painful emotions rising up, that you write in a journal whatever you feel like writing without judging what you jot down. Write down anything that comes up: anger, sadness, resentment, jealousy; just give yourself the gift of liberating yourself of anything that keeps you stuck. You will feel much better afterwards and you will be less tempted to contact your ex or to give in to his flirting.
 
2. You are not ready to face your abandonment wound
 
You keep hanging on for dear life to him because you are avoiding feeling abandoned or rejected. The little girl in you is hurt and your current separation brings up the unresolved emotions of that little girl in you that didn’t have the occasion to express herself and to have the safe space to do so in order to process whatever feelings she might have. Today, you can take that little girl in you by the hand and listen to her. What does she want to tell you? What emotions does she want to express: sadness, anger, feelings of being abandoned or rejected, feeling unworthy of love, not good enough, not perfect, not lovable? Become the mother that you never had by giving yourself the love and attention that you are missing.
 
3. You hope that this time around he will change
 
He keeps making promises and he is so convincing! You say to yourself that this time around he will keep his promises and that he really understands that you are serious this time. The truth is that he will most probably change in his next relationship and not with you. Why? Because as long as you keep coming back to him you are sending him the same message over and over, which is: keep doing what you are doing because I will keep coming back. You will have to leave him for good in order for him to really understand the lesson and apply it in his next relationship.
 
4. You are not ready to face the truth
 
Cutting the relationship for good is making you scared because that would make you come to some irrational and wrong conclusions:
 
· that there will not be another man that will love you;
· that you are not worthy of love;
· that you will end up alone and lonely;
· that you can’t deal with the pain of losing him for good;
· that you are doing a mistake because he is the one;
· that you should accept him as he is because afterall, he is not so bad.
 
These are limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in place and if you don’t take the time to demystify and transform them, you will lose precious time by staying stuck and not having the joy of experiencing something much better. There is someone out there for you who will treat you with the love, respect and attention that you truly deserve but because you are not willing to let go of these beliefs, you will not get to experience.
 
I hope that these 4 points bring you more awareness into why you keep going back to your ex and that you find a way out of this toxic pattern in order to find the true and bounty love that you deserve!

12. 11 ways to become more irresistible to a quality man by loving yourself more

  1. Don’t wait around for a man to bring you happiness, create your own by following your passions and joy. This way you will not spend your time waiting for a man to call you or text you because you will be busy enjoying your own life.

  2.  Have dreams and objectives and take action each day to achieve them. Dream and be creative by being in your feminine energy but also take action towards your dreams in order to create the life that you dream of by using your masculine energy.

  3. Practice self-awareness and when you start thinking in a negative way, stop and choose to feed yourself a positive thought instead of a negative one. If you let negative thoughts run in your mind, you will get depressed after a while. Instead, observe yourself and switch your thoughts as fast as you can and say to yourself: and what if everything would turn around in a positive way? What can I do in order to have a positive result and where can I let go and let God?

  4. Don’t chase a man but let him chase you. Don’t be that woman that is too much in her masculine energy and is doing everything to get a man. Instead, let the man show you he’s interested in you by putting yourself in a receiving mode and by showing him that you value yourself and your time.

  5. Don’t be dependent on a man financially, create your own financial security. You don’t need a man to take care of you, you have everything in yourself to support yourself financially. By doing so, you will increase your self-esteem and feel more secure without needing a crutch to rely on.

  6. When you have difficult emotions to process, instead of putting the fault on others, choose to express your emotions in a healthy way and see your part of responsibility. It’s so much easier when we try to see how we are contributing to a situation instead of putting ourselves in the position of victim and blaming everything on someone else. Instead of being angry and resentful towards a man, we can learn to express our emotions by talking about us in a responsible way. Express how you feel in a calm manner and accept all your emotions, whatever they are. The more you accept all that you feel, the easier will be for you to express them. Writing down your feelings and your thoughts is a very powerful way of making place to more peace and joy and can make you feel more relaxed when you finally choose to express yourself to him.

  7. Practice self-care by taking care of your 5 senses: sight, touch, taste, hearing and smell – decorate your surroundings in a beautiful way; listen to your favorite relaxing music; eat foods that you enjoy, touch textiles that are either very soft or warm when you need comforting, smell something that makes you happy. Especially when your anxious, taking care of all your senses, will calm you down and bring you in the present moment, where there is not danger. Anxiety tends to makes us be scared of what could happen in the future while choosing to be in the present moment, helps us be aware that we are safe here and now.

  8. Listen to your body: when you are tired, take a nap; when you are hungry, nourish yourself; when you have too much energy, dance or move around. Listening to your body can help you even find your own answers. Someone asks you for a favor but you feel it in your body that you want to say no? Someone touches you in an inappropriate way and you don’t feel comfortable? Your body can be a very wise guide to let you know what is ok and what is not ok with you. 

  9. Put healthy boundaries with others when you feel invaded in your space. This way you will be respected and people will know that they cannot mess with you. The more you respect yourself, the easiest will be for you to say no to people and make them respect you. You are worthy of respect and no one should make you feel that you have to please them and ignore your own boundaries. Choose to love yourself even when other people reject you because nothing is more important than your own opinion of yourself. 

  10. Affirm yourself and say what you think because what you have to say it’s important and valuable. We often have something to say but we just diminish the importance and value of what we have to offer by saying our opinion. The more you express yourself, the more people with take you into account and you will feel that what you have to say has value even if no one thinks the way you do or agrees with you. Allow yourself to be different and unique, have the courage to be a pink sheep between a multitude of white sheep. 

  11. Learn to develop an emotional connection before having a physical connection with a man. Don’t give in to sex before you are sure you love this man and this man loves you back. A man will never fall in love with you because you give him his body. A man needs to know and have access to your heart and not your body in order to fall in love with you. Take your time 2 months or more if you can before going further physically with a man and if you feel pressure from him, then run!

    Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below!