4. Why you attract narcissistic partners – I explain it right here:

If you had parents or caretakers that lacked empathy or didn’t put your needs first as a child, you learned that your emotional needs weren’t important and that you were neither important nor valued. You learned to shut yourself off in order to not feel anymore because there was no empathy available for you and you learned to put other people’s needs first in order to feel loved, valued, recognized and important.
 
If you had to grow up very fast because you had to take care of either one of your parents or of your siblings (either emotionally or physically), you didn’t get to experience a nurturing and loving relationship by being taken care of or that relationship was cut very short. As a consequence, you didn’t learn to put yourself first and to take care of your needs because someone else was relying on you for their survival.
 
By adopting these patterns of survival yourself, later on, as an adult, you will attract partners that most often put their needs first and that lack empathy towards you. You will find that normal because this is the way that you were raised and you will not see the red flags at first and you might even think that it’s your fault because in some way you are not lovable, nor important nor valuable.
 
It is important to take a step back and ask yourself the following questions:
 
• Is it time for me to be the most important person in my life?
• Am I tired of always feeling that my emotions are not important?
• Am I tired of looking for validation outside of myself?
• Don’t I deserve better that being treated as not important?
• Do I deserve to be loved and to love myself?
• Do I deserve someone that gives importance to my needs?
• Do I deserve someone whom is emotionally available and to whom I can talk to?
 
If your answer to most of the above questions is yes, then you are ready to give yourself the importance and value that you deserve by asking for what you deserve and if your partner can not give you that maybe you are ready to heal yourself and attract your true love soulmate!

5. Don’t search for your soulmate before you do this

Are you planning to go on a dating site but you have a past of attracting the wrong partners? Then stop. This is not the right time to look for a partner. If you are still dealing with self-love, self-esteem issues or self-respect issues, this is the worst mistake you could do if you want to find the right partner!
 
Let me explain why. The fact that you have still deep healing to do is a major sign that you have negative limiting beliefs about yourself. Like: I don’t deserve to be loved; In order to be valued, I have to do and to give to others; In order to be loved, I have to let others step on my boundaries; I am not enough; I have little value; I am not important; my needs are not important, etc.
 
You want to attract your true love soulmate right? Then you need to know how manifestation works. We attract exactly what we are and think that we are. If we think bad thoughts about ourselves, we will attract men that will show, as a mirror, that what we believe about ourselves is true. So to make it simple for you: if you hold a belief that you are not important, you will attract a partner that will treat you in a way that you will make you feel not important. If you believe that you are unworthy of love, you will be treated in a way that makes you feel unloved or on the contrary, nothing will be enough for you to feel loved because deep inside of yourself, you don’t believe that you deserve to be loved. Therefore, it is crucial that you work on your mindset before any tentative of finding your soulmate to put all the chances of success on your side and not waste any more time.
 
Also, if you still have emotional wounds that haven’t been healed, they will be brought up in the relationship because there is nothing better than a romantic partner to wake in us what needs to come to the surface and be healed. They will trigger us exactly where we need to be triggered, in order for the junk to come to the surface and be brought to the light. If we don’t know how to release our pain in a healthy way, we will adopt unhealthy patterns in order to not feel our pain and this will create discord in our relationship. If you take the time to work on your communication skills and how to transform your emotional wounds, you will have better chances at succeeding.
 
Working on yourself it’s like putting together a beautiful fruit tart. If the basis is not solid and can’t hold the fruit together along with the custard, nothing will stay put and it will eventually come apart. Therefore, we need to make sure the basis of the relationship with ourself is solid before we try to build a relationship with someone else.
 
If we want to find a partner that makes us feel loved, cherished, valued, nourished and respected, we need to deeply believe that we are worthy of all these things. If not, we will attract exactly our mirror and then we will have to start again and again, losing precious years because we are not willing to stop and take a long look at ourself. If you have suffered from emotional or physical abuse or neglect in your past, it is vital that you work on yourself and the sooner you do it, the better you will get at attracting the right partner for you.

6. The secret to a healthy self-esteem in order to attract your Soulmate

The majority of us have been brought up to believe that self-esteem should come from how much we accomplish in life, what we do for others, how we show up in the world or how we are better than others. This is straight @#$….it and it made us become something that we are not. We have ended up wearing a mask, suffering from comparison, having trouble saying no or trying to impress others.
 
There is a much simpler definition to self-esteem. Self-esteem should be based on the capacity to recognize ourselves as a unique and beautiful creation of God (Creator of the Universe). Every woman is God’s creation, therefore, every woman should have self-esteem for herself, period.
If you catch yourself comparing yourself to other women, know that you will always end up losing, since you would have to be the best in the world at something in order to not lose. By simply accepting yourself as you are and choosing to see your qualities and gifts as enough, you will become more solid and confident. Try to be a better version that yesterday and one day you will be your best version!
 
If you have trouble saying no to people by fear of them disapproving of you or losing the value in their eyes, remember that no one’s opinion is more important than yours. When you fall into the trap of giving your power away by giving more importance to the opinion of others, you are self-abandoning. The next time if feel like saying “no” to someone instead of an﮴”yes”, remember that you don’t owe nothing to anyone and you are free of choosing yourself. If you lose their friendship or admiration, it means that there was nothing solid to begin with in the beginning. By doing so, you will gain more self-respect and self-esteem.
 
If you hide facets of yourself in order to be something that you think it’s more valuable than what you already are, it is time for you to reclaim your true self. All the facets of your inner diamond are precious and you should show them to the world, because they make you the unique person that you are. A simple way of finding out which parts of yourself are hidden, it’s to be aware of what qualities you admire in others or you are envious of. Those qualities are already in you and are just waiting to be claimed by you in order to show themselves.
 
If you are killing yourself at work in order to prove your value, know that you are exhausting yourself in vain. You are already valuable and enough. You don’t need to be in burnout or almost there, to feel valuable or that you are worth something. This is all wrong! You got it all wrong and it’s not your fault! It’s just the way you were brought up and it’s time now for you to release all the pressure you are putting on yourself (I already did this in the past and I had my lesson! I almost touched burnout when I realized that I was valuing myself from a wrong perspective!).
 
If you have a healthy self-esteem you won’t attract partners that take advantage of you or abuse you so it is very important to get your self-esteem back and realize that your unique blend of qualities, traits, personality and gifts make you so special!

7. Conditional love vs. unconditional love

In all my past relationships, I had hoped that I would be loved unconditionally and yet, I wasn’t (and maybe I wasn’t loving them unconditionally either!). There were two long relationships where I wasn’t ready to have kids and my partners chose to be with someone else because of that. My dream of being loved by someone no matter if I chose to have kids or not was crushed and then I realized that they wanted to have kids more than they wanted to be with me. Is this true and unconditional love? Or is this more of a transaction: I will stay with you as long as you give me what I want?

True unconditional love shouldn’t come with rules or conditions. True, unconditional love is a desire to be with the person that you love no matter if she gives you what you want or not. We should choose to be with our partner, not because we need him but because we want to be with him. True unconditional love doesn’t take into account: status, religion, fortune, origin or sex.

But, does that mean that you have to accept anything or everything? No, absolutely not! If your partner cheats on you or abuses you, you should not accept that! Because accepting cheating or any kind of abuse would mean that you don’t love yourself. When you truly love yourself, you know what is acceptable or not, you have an inner nudge that tells you: this is acceptable and this is not! This helps you to put healthy boundaries and to respect yourself.

The more you love yourself unconditionally, the more you will be able to love others unconditionally and to know how you allow others to treat you. When you truly love yourself, you will attract your mirror, meaning your true Love Soulmate that will love you with no conditions because they will want to share their life with you not because of what you give them but because of simply whom you are and that is exempt of conditions.

9. The biggest shift you have to make in order to get over him!

Since your childhood, some of you had been abused in a way or another so you have learned to walk on eggshells and put all your attention on others. You learned to hide your true self in order to be accepted, to reject yourself in order to be loved, to say what they wanted to hear in order to be safe and secure. You forgot about yourself and you learned to be in survival mode because you had to survive! You were dependent on the authority figures in your life so you had no choice but to deny yourself the right to be loved for simply whom you were and to be accepted and recognized for your difference and unique personality.
 
Today, you find yourself stuck in the same pattern but rather with your ex-partner. You want him to come back to you and love you the way you would want to be loved. You want him to make you feel important and a priority in his life, to be faithful and loving towards you. The thing you don’t see right now is that you are still waiting for someone that is exterior to you to give you something that you can give yourself.
 
You are not in a position of needing someone anymore to make your feel loved and secure. Still, you keep yourself in this victim mentality, where you are not obtaining what you truly deserve. How can you get out of this victim position and take your power back and most importantly, are you ready to take your power back? To not give the satisfaction of your needs to someone else? Are you ready to turn all the focus and attention on to yourself and to give yourself the love and importance that you seek? It takes only one decision, the decision to become the most important person in your life.
 
I used to be a victim of my love mentality. That someone else should love me and I refused to love myself. That someone else should make me his priority and not making myself a priority. That someone else should fulfill my needs and not myself. I was stuck in this position where I was giving my power away and felt so stuck. Stuck in attracting the wrong type of men that treated me poorly or that were emotional unavailable. I was stuck in doing everything so that my ex would come back to me. I was so obsessed with this idea that he was the one for me and that no one else could give me what he gave me. I was so wrong. I had no little idea of what true, unconditional love was. I had no idea of how much love and affection and emotional availability a partner could give me until I met my true love soulmate partner.
 
This is what I wish for you but it was a long road for me and I can save you years of hardship and anxiety. I can help you transform these negative limiting beliefs that keep you stuck and help you talk through and transform that trauma so that you open yourself up to true love and that you find peace of mind and get your self-esteem back. 
 
Are you ready to transform yourself in order to take your power back and open yourself up to true unconditional love? Book a discovery call with me so that we see if we are a fit to work together. Take advantage of the fact that I am mentor whom still gives one on one mentoring and therapy sessions so I will give you all my undivided attention vs. a group setting where you have to share your allotted time. Take advantage of my unique method of transforming limiting beliefs in a matter of seconds (no one knows this technique since I invented it myself and it completely transformed my life).