20. Why you don’t feel loved – I explain it here:

No matter what someone does, if you have a deep-rooted limiting belief that you don’t deserve love, you will always struggle with feeling loved. You will look for reassurance outside of yourself and feel that nothing the person says or does reassures you long term. You will try to sabotage the relationship because deep down you need to be consistent with your external reality. If you don’t believe that you deserve love and your partner shows you affection and love, there will be a conflict within you. This will create tension and make you do things that sabotage the relationship like having doubts, pushing the person to do more or show you more love, provoke a fight, being jealous, etc.
 
You need to work on the subconscious belief that you don’t deserve love in order to replace it with the belief that YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. When you will do that, you will start feeling loved and the feeling will stay without you having to search for proof or reassurance. By doing that, you will find peace within yourself and remove all the pressure you put on your partner. Therefore, your relationship will get better and if you are single, you will be less dependent on finding love outside of yourself and instead be motivated to love yourself more which I’m turn will attract your right partner.
 
Or maybe that you don’t you love yourself? I explain it right here:
 
One of the main reasons you don’t love yourself is because you didn’t learn to love yourself. If you were mistreated in your childhood, heavily critiqued or compared, if you have experienced verbal or physical abuse, if you were bullied, not respected or controlled or dominated, you didn’t have a healthy environment in which you could develop self-love.
 
A child will not put the fault on his parents if he is abused (because a child needs to feel safe) but instead, will put the fault on himself and will start making up beliefs about himself like: I am a bad kid; I don’t deserve to be loved; I am not enough; I don’t deserve to be happy; my needs are not important; etc.
 
Unfortunately, as we are growing up, we bring these negative beliefs and self-worth issues into our adulthood without realising that we are shooting ourself in the foot. We forget that we are not children anymore and that we have power over our life. So we keep dragging these limiting beliefs like a bag of garbage that we refuse to throw out.
 
Today, you don’t depend on anyone anymore, you can start believing that you are lovable and worthy, that you are a good person and that you are enough!
 

19. Why you don’t accept yourself – I explain it here :

If you have trouble accepting yourself, this can stem from your childhood. If you didn’t feel accepted as you were by your parents or caretakers you will have trouble accepting yourself later in life. You have internalized those negative voices in your head and your small loving inner voice is buried somewhere beneath all this noise: “You aren’t good enough”; “Look how better she is than you!; “You are so dumb”; “You cry too much; “You are too this or too that”; “Don’t do this, don’t be like that”. Being constantly critiqued, diminished, compared, laughed at, humiliated or judged will make you think that you are not ok as you are, that you should be something else, that you have to be like other people that you think that they are better than you, that you are damaged or weird, that what you are is not acceptable or ok, that you have to hide what makes you unique and original. The downside of that is that you hide what makes you so unique and beautiful and you learn to be a white sheep surrounded by other white sheep instead of being a pink sheep that is proud to be different.
 
Later in life, you don’t get to know and discover whom you truly are and accept yourself fully with all your facets whatever they are because you are either ashamed or scared to show them. You have to realize first that you don’t have to be anything that yourself since there never was, there is not and there will never be someone exactly like you. It is your uniqueness that makes you valuable and special. You have to learn to embrace your quirks and limits as well as your talents, gifts and difference. Learn to observe those negative voices in your head and to replace them with a kind and accepting voice that ignores that poisonous chattering in your head and instead has a loving and encouraging tone. You don’t have to be perfect, neither better than someone else, neither something else that you already are, you have to be your best version and strive to be better each day. You unique point of comparison should be the yesterday version of yourself.
 
Look at whom you admire and know that you have those same qualities and gifts as them or you can develop them with time. If not, you would not be able to recognize those same characteristics in them. You have to recuperate those facets of yourself that you learned to hide in order to be accepted or loved. Those facets of yourself are waiting for your permission to show themselves and help you become your best version!
 
If your current partner doesn’t accept you as you are, it is because he is your mirror. Your partner is there to mirror to you what you are doing to yourself in order for you to heal. It is a gift in disguise!

The more you learn to accept yourself as you are and less importance you will give about what others think of you. You also have to accept that it’s ok to not be fully accepted by others, it’s ok to not be loved by everyone. You are the only one that has the responsibility to love and accept yourself fully. You are God’s creation (or however you call the creator of the universe) and that makes you special and precious. Never forget that!

1. How not to be manipulated by a man

Here are three tips on how to prevent being manipulated by a man:
 
1. He must be consistent
 
Don’t take into consideration a man’s words but instead look at the consistency of his actions towards you. Is he consistent in giving you attention and time? Is he consistent in calling or texting you? Is he consistent in making you his priority? Is his consistent in making you feel important and valuable?
 
If he’s only giving you attention when he wants something from you, don’t take him seriously. You deserve much better than someone whom is wishy washy. A man that is consistent for a long period of time, shows that he is serious about the relationships he has with you.
 
2. His words are matching his actions
 
Whatever he promises to you, he honors it most of the time. He has the right to change his mind but if he’s only words and no actions, be aware. Don’t be fooled by beautiful words if his actions say otherwise. Him honoring his promises to you shows that you are important and valuable to him.
 
3. Men can be wonderful until….
 
…they get what they want. If he’s charming, loving and caters to your needs and after you give in with sex for example he changes radically, then you fell into his trap. Men have this talent of manipulating you into believing that they are so good to you and can easily wear a mask to make you believe it. As soon as they get what they want, they remove their mask without any shame and you get to see their true nature. How to not fall into that trap? Take your time to get to know him well and don’t give him sex until you both have feelings for each other and you feel ready. By taking your time to really know him, establishing a heart to heart connection and being vulnerable with each other, he will have the time to open his heart and fall in love with you or to leave if he’s not interested in getting to know you other than physically.
 
I hope that those tips bring you more awareness into the psychology of how man can be and you avoid getting into the trap of being manipulated by a man next time you are in a similar situation.

2. How to find self-esteem after a break-up

If you lost your self-esteem after a difficult break-up, there are a few ways you can reclaim your self-esteem. I will share 4 tips in this article:
 
1. Remind yourself that you are God’s creation
 
You are God’s (or whatever name you give to the creator of the universe) creation so that means you are special. There never was, there is not and there will never be someone exactly like you. You are unique and nobody can replace you, therefore you must value yourself accordingly. One day you will find your soulmate and the fact that you are single and heartbroken today doesn’t diminish your value.
 
2. Remind yourself that you are limitless
 
There is nothing that you can not create if you have a dream and the talent for it. No matter how you feel right now: lonely, sad or angry, not worthy or not loved, tell yourself that this is temporary. You are not defined by a man’s love towards you. You are defined by the beauty that resides within you and by the power of the love that you hold into your heart. Take your power back by concentrating on your dreams and objectives and give yourself what you want. Practice self-love during this solitary period and do things that bring you bliss.
 
3. Take pride in sharing whom you really are
 
This is the time to get to know yourself more. What have you left on the side that you would like to reintroduce into your life now there is space for it? What activities or passions are waiting for you to reintroduce into your life? What do you want to create? What do you want to share with the world? You have unique gifts that can benefit the world and you could start sharing these with the ones that would love to benefit from them!
 
4. Take your time to digest your pain
 
If you have difficult emotions that you need to process like anger or sadness, take your time to get through them. The sooner you express them, the shorter the period of mourning the relationship will be. You can write in a journal or talk to someone that you can trust. You can learn from this relationship what you no longer want in a relationship and what lessons you have learned. If this relationship didn’t work out, is because someone else is better for you. It is ok to think about memories or fall into the trap of seeing your ex or wanting to go back to him, nobody is perfect. The important thing is to decide one day that you deserve better and that going back to something that will not work out, is turning in circles and not giving yourself the space to heal.
 
I hope that these tips shed more light on this topic and until next time, much love.

3. Why do you keep going back to your ex? I explain it right here:

Are you one of those women that keeps going back to her ex? You would like to stop doing it but you can’t stop going back?
 
Here are 4 reasons that could explain why you keep falling into the same trap:
 
1. You don’t want to deal with difficult emotions
 
You would rather think about him or try to contact him rather to sit down and feel your emotions. You are afraid that some painful emotions would come up and that you would not be able to process them. I recommend that when you feel that painful emotions rising up, that you write in a journal whatever you feel like writing without judging what you jot down. Write down anything that comes up: anger, sadness, resentment, jealousy; just give yourself the gift of liberating yourself of anything that keeps you stuck. You will feel much better afterwards and you will be less tempted to contact your ex or to give in to his flirting.
 
2. You are not ready to face your abandonment wound
 
You keep hanging on for dear life to him because you are avoiding feeling abandoned or rejected. The little girl in you is hurt and your current separation brings up the unresolved emotions of that little girl in you that didn’t have the occasion to express herself and to have the safe space to do so in order to process whatever feelings she might have. Today, you can take that little girl in you by the hand and listen to her. What does she want to tell you? What emotions does she want to express: sadness, anger, feelings of being abandoned or rejected, feeling unworthy of love, not good enough, not perfect, not lovable? Become the mother that you never had by giving yourself the love and attention that you are missing.
 
3. You hope that this time around he will change
 
He keeps making promises and he is so convincing! You say to yourself that this time around he will keep his promises and that he really understands that you are serious this time. The truth is that he will most probably change in his next relationship and not with you. Why? Because as long as you keep coming back to him you are sending him the same message over and over, which is: keep doing what you are doing because I will keep coming back. You will have to leave him for good in order for him to really understand the lesson and apply it in his next relationship.
 
4. You are not ready to face the truth
 
Cutting the relationship for good is making you scared because that would make you come to some irrational and wrong conclusions:
 
· that there will not be another man that will love you;
· that you are not worthy of love;
· that you will end up alone and lonely;
· that you can’t deal with the pain of losing him for good;
· that you are doing a mistake because he is the one;
· that you should accept him as he is because afterall, he is not so bad.
 
These are limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in place and if you don’t take the time to demystify and transform them, you will lose precious time by staying stuck and not having the joy of experiencing something much better. There is someone out there for you who will treat you with the love, respect and attention that you truly deserve but because you are not willing to let go of these beliefs, you will not get to experience.
 
I hope that these 4 points bring you more awareness into why you keep going back to your ex and that you find a way out of this toxic pattern in order to find the true and bounty love that you deserve!

4. Why you attract narcissistic partners – I explain it right here:

If you had parents or caretakers that lacked empathy or didn’t put your needs first as a child, you learned that your emotional needs weren’t important and that you were neither important nor valued. You learned to shut yourself off in order to not feel anymore because there was no empathy available for you and you learned to put other people’s needs first in order to feel loved, valued, recognized and important.
 
If you had to grow up very fast because you had to take care of either one of your parents or of your siblings (either emotionally or physically), you didn’t get to experience a nurturing and loving relationship by being taken care of or that relationship was cut very short. As a consequence, you didn’t learn to put yourself first and to take care of your needs because someone else was relying on you for their survival.
 
By adopting these patterns of survival yourself, later on, as an adult, you will attract partners that most often put their needs first and that lack empathy towards you. You will find that normal because this is the way that you were raised and you will not see the red flags at first and you might even think that it’s your fault because in some way you are not lovable, nor important nor valuable.
 
It is important to take a step back and ask yourself the following questions:
 
• Is it time for me to be the most important person in my life?
• Am I tired of always feeling that my emotions are not important?
• Am I tired of looking for validation outside of myself?
• Don’t I deserve better that being treated as not important?
• Do I deserve to be loved and to love myself?
• Do I deserve someone that gives importance to my needs?
• Do I deserve someone whom is emotionally available and to whom I can talk to?
 
If your answer to most of the above questions is yes, then you are ready to give yourself the importance and value that you deserve by asking for what you deserve and if your partner can not give you that maybe you are ready to heal yourself and attract your true love soulmate!

5. Don’t search for your soulmate before you do this

Are you planning to go on a dating site but you have a past of attracting the wrong partners? Then stop. This is not the right time to look for a partner. If you are still dealing with self-love, self-esteem issues or self-respect issues, this is the worst mistake you could do if you want to find the right partner!
 
Let me explain why. The fact that you have still deep healing to do is a major sign that you have negative limiting beliefs about yourself. Like: I don’t deserve to be loved; In order to be valued, I have to do and to give to others; In order to be loved, I have to let others step on my boundaries; I am not enough; I have little value; I am not important; my needs are not important, etc.
 
You want to attract your true love soulmate right? Then you need to know how manifestation works. We attract exactly what we are and think that we are. If we think bad thoughts about ourselves, we will attract men that will show, as a mirror, that what we believe about ourselves is true. So to make it simple for you: if you hold a belief that you are not important, you will attract a partner that will treat you in a way that you will make you feel not important. If you believe that you are unworthy of love, you will be treated in a way that makes you feel unloved or on the contrary, nothing will be enough for you to feel loved because deep inside of yourself, you don’t believe that you deserve to be loved. Therefore, it is crucial that you work on your mindset before any tentative of finding your soulmate to put all the chances of success on your side and not waste any more time.
 
Also, if you still have emotional wounds that haven’t been healed, they will be brought up in the relationship because there is nothing better than a romantic partner to wake in us what needs to come to the surface and be healed. They will trigger us exactly where we need to be triggered, in order for the junk to come to the surface and be brought to the light. If we don’t know how to release our pain in a healthy way, we will adopt unhealthy patterns in order to not feel our pain and this will create discord in our relationship. If you take the time to work on your communication skills and how to transform your emotional wounds, you will have better chances at succeeding.
 
Working on yourself it’s like putting together a beautiful fruit tart. If the basis is not solid and can’t hold the fruit together along with the custard, nothing will stay put and it will eventually come apart. Therefore, we need to make sure the basis of the relationship with ourself is solid before we try to build a relationship with someone else.
 
If we want to find a partner that makes us feel loved, cherished, valued, nourished and respected, we need to deeply believe that we are worthy of all these things. If not, we will attract exactly our mirror and then we will have to start again and again, losing precious years because we are not willing to stop and take a long look at ourself. If you have suffered from emotional or physical abuse or neglect in your past, it is vital that you work on yourself and the sooner you do it, the better you will get at attracting the right partner for you.

6. The secret to a healthy self-esteem in order to attract your Soulmate

The majority of us have been brought up to believe that self-esteem should come from how much we accomplish in life, what we do for others, how we show up in the world or how we are better than others. This is straight @#$….it and it made us become something that we are not. We have ended up wearing a mask, suffering from comparison, having trouble saying no or trying to impress others.
 
There is a much simpler definition to self-esteem. Self-esteem should be based on the capacity to recognize ourselves as a unique and beautiful creation of God (Creator of the Universe). Every woman is God’s creation, therefore, every woman should have self-esteem for herself, period.
If you catch yourself comparing yourself to other women, know that you will always end up losing, since you would have to be the best in the world at something in order to not lose. By simply accepting yourself as you are and choosing to see your qualities and gifts as enough, you will become more solid and confident. Try to be a better version that yesterday and one day you will be your best version!
 
If you have trouble saying no to people by fear of them disapproving of you or losing the value in their eyes, remember that no one’s opinion is more important than yours. When you fall into the trap of giving your power away by giving more importance to the opinion of others, you are self-abandoning. The next time if feel like saying “no” to someone instead of an﮴”yes”, remember that you don’t owe nothing to anyone and you are free of choosing yourself. If you lose their friendship or admiration, it means that there was nothing solid to begin with in the beginning. By doing so, you will gain more self-respect and self-esteem.
 
If you hide facets of yourself in order to be something that you think it’s more valuable than what you already are, it is time for you to reclaim your true self. All the facets of your inner diamond are precious and you should show them to the world, because they make you the unique person that you are. A simple way of finding out which parts of yourself are hidden, it’s to be aware of what qualities you admire in others or you are envious of. Those qualities are already in you and are just waiting to be claimed by you in order to show themselves.
 
If you are killing yourself at work in order to prove your value, know that you are exhausting yourself in vain. You are already valuable and enough. You don’t need to be in burnout or almost there, to feel valuable or that you are worth something. This is all wrong! You got it all wrong and it’s not your fault! It’s just the way you were brought up and it’s time now for you to release all the pressure you are putting on yourself (I already did this in the past and I had my lesson! I almost touched burnout when I realized that I was valuing myself from a wrong perspective!).
 
If you have a healthy self-esteem you won’t attract partners that take advantage of you or abuse you so it is very important to get your self-esteem back and realize that your unique blend of qualities, traits, personality and gifts make you so special!

7. Conditional love vs. unconditional love

In all my past relationships, I had hoped that I would be loved unconditionally and yet, I wasn’t (and maybe I wasn’t loving them unconditionally either!). There were two long relationships where I wasn’t ready to have kids and my partners chose to be with someone else because of that. My dream of being loved by someone no matter if I chose to have kids or not was crushed and then I realized that they wanted to have kids more than they wanted to be with me. Is this true and unconditional love? Or is this more of a transaction: I will stay with you as long as you give me what I want?

True unconditional love shouldn’t come with rules or conditions. True, unconditional love is a desire to be with the person that you love no matter if she gives you what you want or not. We should choose to be with our partner, not because we need him but because we want to be with him. True unconditional love doesn’t take into account: status, religion, fortune, origin or sex.

But, does that mean that you have to accept anything or everything? No, absolutely not! If your partner cheats on you or abuses you, you should not accept that! Because accepting cheating or any kind of abuse would mean that you don’t love yourself. When you truly love yourself, you know what is acceptable or not, you have an inner nudge that tells you: this is acceptable and this is not! This helps you to put healthy boundaries and to respect yourself.

The more you love yourself unconditionally, the more you will be able to love others unconditionally and to know how you allow others to treat you. When you truly love yourself, you will attract your mirror, meaning your true Love Soulmate that will love you with no conditions because they will want to share their life with you not because of what you give them but because of simply whom you are and that is exempt of conditions.

9. The biggest shift you have to make in order to get over him!

Since your childhood, some of you had been abused in a way or another so you have learned to walk on eggshells and put all your attention on others. You learned to hide your true self in order to be accepted, to reject yourself in order to be loved, to say what they wanted to hear in order to be safe and secure. You forgot about yourself and you learned to be in survival mode because you had to survive! You were dependent on the authority figures in your life so you had no choice but to deny yourself the right to be loved for simply whom you were and to be accepted and recognized for your difference and unique personality.
 
Today, you find yourself stuck in the same pattern but rather with your ex-partner. You want him to come back to you and love you the way you would want to be loved. You want him to make you feel important and a priority in his life, to be faithful and loving towards you. The thing you don’t see right now is that you are still waiting for someone that is exterior to you to give you something that you can give yourself.
 
You are not in a position of needing someone anymore to make your feel loved and secure. Still, you keep yourself in this victim mentality, where you are not obtaining what you truly deserve. How can you get out of this victim position and take your power back and most importantly, are you ready to take your power back? To not give the satisfaction of your needs to someone else? Are you ready to turn all the focus and attention on to yourself and to give yourself the love and importance that you seek? It takes only one decision, the decision to become the most important person in your life.
 
I used to be a victim of my love mentality. That someone else should love me and I refused to love myself. That someone else should make me his priority and not making myself a priority. That someone else should fulfill my needs and not myself. I was stuck in this position where I was giving my power away and felt so stuck. Stuck in attracting the wrong type of men that treated me poorly or that were emotional unavailable. I was stuck in doing everything so that my ex would come back to me. I was so obsessed with this idea that he was the one for me and that no one else could give me what he gave me. I was so wrong. I had no little idea of what true, unconditional love was. I had no idea of how much love and affection and emotional availability a partner could give me until I met my true love soulmate partner.
 
This is what I wish for you but it was a long road for me and I can save you years of hardship and anxiety. I can help you transform these negative limiting beliefs that keep you stuck and help you talk through and transform that trauma so that you open yourself up to true love and that you find peace of mind and get your self-esteem back. 
 
Are you ready to transform yourself in order to take your power back and open yourself up to true unconditional love? Book a discovery call with me so that we see if we are a fit to work together. Take advantage of the fact that I am mentor whom still gives one on one mentoring and therapy sessions so I will give you all my undivided attention vs. a group setting where you have to share your allotted time. Take advantage of my unique method of transforming limiting beliefs in a matter of seconds (no one knows this technique since I invented it myself and it completely transformed my life).