If you had parents or caretakers that lacked empathy or didn’t put your needs first as a child, you learned that your emotional needs weren’t important and that you were neither important nor valued. You learned to shut yourself off in order to not feel anymore because there was no empathy available for you and you learned to put other people’s needs first in order to feel loved, valued, recognized and important.
If you had to grow up very fast because you had to take care of either one of your parents or of your siblings (either emotionally or physically), you didn’t get to experience a nurturing and loving relationship by being taken care of or that relationship was cut very short. As a consequence, you didn’t learn to put yourself first and to take care of your needs because someone else was relying on you for their survival.
By adopting these patterns of survival yourself, later on, as an adult, you will attract partners that most often put their needs first and that lack empathy towards you. You will find that normal because this is the way that you were raised and you will not see the red flags at first and you might even think that it’s your fault because in some way you are not lovable, nor important nor valuable.
It is important to take a step back and ask yourself the following questions:
• Is it time for me to be the most important person in my life?
• Am I tired of always feeling that my emotions are not important?
• Am I tired of looking for validation outside of myself?
• Don’t I deserve better that being treated as not important?
• Do I deserve to be loved and to love myself?
• Do I deserve someone that gives importance to my needs?
• Do I deserve someone whom is emotionally available and to whom I can talk to?
If your answer to most of the above questions is yes, then you are ready to give yourself the importance and value that you deserve by asking for what you deserve and if your partner can not give you that maybe you are ready to heal yourself and attract your true love soulmate!