Are you afraid of being abandoned?

The fear of being abandoned

So we are born into this world dependent on the adults that are responsible of us. We place our faith and trust into our caretakers and parents. We love them unconditionally as children and we expect the same in return.

But the attachment we so deeply long for doesn’t always happen in the most ideal way. If there is fear involved, abuse of any kind, negligence, addiction, no emotional support, or a role exchange (the parent becomes the child and the child becomes the parent) the child will have difficulty forming a safe emotional bond with her caretakers/parents.

Later on in her life, the girl will grow up to be an woman that is fearful in her relationships because she hasn’t learned to form an intimate and safe emotional bond with the people that were her primary caretakers which in turn, has resulted in her not trusting or loving herself enough to feel safe within her. She is still craving that feeling of having an intimate emotional connection to another person. So all her life, this woman will search for a man to make her feel secure and to reassure her and will have trouble making herself feel secure within herself in relationship with others.

In order to not feel the fear of being abandoned, a woman with abandonment issues will learn to abandon herself first in order for others not to abandon her. Personally, I had trouble saying how I truly felt, I had the tendency of always saying yes to other people, to put myself last, to people please and to not truly be myself but rather be someone whom I thought would deserve love and affection…bringing me more disappointment and loss of self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence and ultimately loss of identity. I was a true chameleon, and I didn’t know whom I truly was because I was so busy trying to be someone else.

I used to be so fearful of being abandoned in my love relationships that I would reject my partner before he could reject me. I was not able to be vulnerable and to show my true feelings and emotions in a relationship because I didn’t trust that I would be safe in being vulnerable. I had to learn that it was ok for me to cry in front of a partner even if that partner would not be able to have empathy for me. The important thing that I realized is that I had to become a loving mother for my inner child and not have expectations from others to reassure or comfort me. I was the only responsible of my feelings and emotions and I had to learn to become a loving mother to inner child.

There was a certain relationship breakup at a moment in my life where I had so much abandonment pain from the past waking up in me, that I had become obsessed at getting that partner back in my life. I did everything in the book: manipulating him, threatening him, letting him use me, not respecting myself and losing myself in all that mess. All out of a desperate attempt to not feel my childhood abandonment pain. I had to learn to cut the cord with my ex, to let him go, to feel whatever I had to feel without grabbing him as an escape from feeling my own emotional pain and grief.

For a woman that is afraid of being abandoned (emotionally or physically), when her partner is not able to reassure her and make her feel that she is important to him, all her insecurity from the past will resurface. She will cry, she will beg, she will make treats and try to manipulate him into making him behave the way that will bring her a sense of security.

This was me and I had to really work on releasing my abandoning emotional wound so that I would not need external validation or reassurance anymore. Accepting to release my grief and sadness when it came to my abandonment issues, was an important step in my healing process. During that time, I had therapy sessions, I did journaling but true healing came from transforming my subconscious negative beliefs I had about myself : that I was not worthy of love, that I was not enough, that I was not lovable, etc., etc.

The fear of abandonment has its roots in the emotional and intimate bond that the child has created with her parents or caretakers making her susceptible to attracting to her, relationships where she will make desperate attempts to be reassured that she will not be abandoned.

When a love partner would go out with friends, I would become worried, would feel bored and would not know what to do with myself. I would call him repeatedly and ask him to come back home and end up suffocating and invading him…I didn’t know how to respect his boundaries as I didn’t had any awareness of mine…I had to learn to find ways to keep myself busy in his absence and I soon found out that I could have a lot of fun being by myself and attending to things that were interesting to me. I had to learn to love spending time with myself and reparent myself by comforting myself in need.

I hope this article brings you comfort that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Bianca (aka Mystical Queen Goddess)

Because every deeply wounded woman deserves abundance at all levels!

The myths and lies on emotions

THE MYTHS AND LIES ON EMOTIONS…
 
You should be ashamed of your emotions…
 
You should not show your emotions…
 
You should hide how you feel and make others believe you are fine…
 
You should control your emotions…
 
You are too much, stop being so intense…
 
You are too sensitive, stop crying!
 
No wonder, you have learned to stuff down your emotions with food or alcohol, to watch TV (Netflix anyone?) to numb yourself, to feel disconnected from yourself, to feel wrong for being sensitive, for not knowing how to deal with your emotional triggers when someone says something or does something to you that triggers you and your emotional wounds…
 
THE TRUTH IS THAT :
 
You were created to have emotions…
 
Emotions are perfectly normal, not having emotions is not…
 
You had parents that did not know how to comfort you or listen to you when you were emotional…
 
You have not learned to deal with your emotions therefore you fall into the trap of bad habits to numb your emotions…
 
Your anxiety is just a sign that blocked emotions need to come up to the surface and be released…
 
You might feel completely disconnected from yourself…because when you cut yourself from feeling, you cut yourself from your essence, whom you are…
 
Emotions are the pathway to your true self because they have a message and you are not listening to that message….therefore not being true to yourself
 
The validation you need from others is just a sign that you are completely disconnected from your own higher self…whom always accepts you and values you
 
We live in a society where women are judged for being emotional especially empaths and lightworkers
 
IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO:
 
Give yourself the right to feel whatever emotions are there for you…
 
Accept that you might be more sensitive that the majority of women…because you have an empathic soul…
 
Accept that it is painful to feel after all these years of numbing yourself…one day at a time makes it easier…practice staying aware of your feelings even if it’s a few seconds per day….increase the time when you feel ready to go to the next level!
 
Find ways to express yourself either being painting, journaling, especially if you are introverted (ask for the violet flame of Master St-Germain (a purple, pink and violet flame) to envelop you and comfort you and ease the intensity of your emotions but still do the work of expressing and releasing your emotions)…
 
Give yourself the right to be yourself and be vulnerable towards the people that are close to you and that you trust…since being vulnerable helps you build a strong intimate connection with your partner or future partner…
 
IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO BECOME WHOM YOU WERE MADE TO BE…A WOMAN WITH EMOTIONAL POWER…
 
THE POWER OF BEING A HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS THAT GUIDE YOU TOWARDS YOUR TRUE SELF, TO YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS AND BOUNDARIES AND YOUR LIFE MISSION…
 
Feeling your emotions allows you to feel your boundaries and say no…and so much more benefits:
 
…it allows you to feel what you truly want and ask for it…
 
…it allows you to tap into your intuition easier because by releasing emotions you clear the channel to have a more clear intuition…
 
…it allows you to get to know yourself more…
 
…it allows you to release emotional blockages that keep your vibration low…and therefore attract situations and people to you that you don’t want…
 
…it allows you to avoid feeling sick because emotions that are stuck in your physical body can become physical ailments later on in your life…
 
…it allows you to get clear on your negative beliefs and choose new and more empowering ones…
 
…it allows you to release your emotional wounds from your childhood in your to stop manifesting the same pattern over and over again….it gets you out of the loop of living the same frustrations over and over…
 
Basically, emotions are a treasure if you allow yourself to feel your uncomfortable emotions, but this treasure is really worth it!
 
Without accepting to feel and release your emotions, you will feel like an alien in your own body because you will feel empty. That emptiness is not feeling what wants to come up and tell you a message…
 
Are you ready to listen and discover the jewels of your inner treasure?
 
Ask me any questions beautiful soul, it will be my great pleasure to guide you…
 
Bianca aka Mystical Queen Goddess

How to get unstuck in life – for the spiritual wounded woman!

How to get unstuck in your life for the spiritual wounded woman!
 
If you feel stuck in your life right now and you have deep wounds from the past, I want you to know that you can get on the other side of the tunnel. You might not probably see the light at the end of the tunnel right now, but I promise you that that light exists.
 
It does require some work on your part and for you to know some tools and this is why I am writing this article.
 
I was once stuck in many areas of my life and I had to do the required work to get unstuck.
 
1stand most important thing that you need to understand is that you need to work at a deeper level than you might be used to. If you try affirmations here and there, crystals, candles or other spiritual tools but you don’t attend to the real blockages that you have, you will stay stuck. Yes, crystals are wonderful and potent as affirmations are but if your subconscious beliefs and your emotional blockages and ingrained patterns don’t get released and transformed, you will not change your overall frequency. You will stay in a low vibrational frequency that will attract to you more of that you don’t want, lack and unhappiness.
 
Wanting to use spiritual tools without doing the deep level work on yourself is like putting pink icing and flowers on a dry cake. The icing doesn’t change anything if the cake itself is not good. But when the cake itself is moist, not too sweet, creamy and delicious, the icing can be a very nice touch but won’t change the overall experience of the cake. So my point here is to work on the cake and the icing will only enhance the overall experience!
 
Now that I have made a point, let’s get back to the serious stuff. You got emotions trapped in your body coming from your past that you didn’t get to express and release. You got limiting beliefs that you bought in your head in order to survive and that today tax you from abundance and happiness. You got ingrained patterns that you act on without even thinking or realizing that they sabotage you.
 
So how do we transform and release the junk?
 
Tool number 1: you take the most cheap and ordinary journal or piece of paper (I have no money excuse won’t work here!) and you start writing. You address anything that makes you sad, disappointed, mad, envious, jealous, angry, rejected, etc….The purpose of this exercice is for you to start following the thread that will bring you to your limiting beliefs. Now it’s not the time to analyze or try to understand what you are jotting down on paper because it won’t make any sense to you and it doesn’t have to. These emotions might come from a very long time ago in your life so it’s normal to not understand them. So don’t try to!
 
What you are actually doing here, is taking responsibility for your life by starting your healing journey and it starts with releasing any thoughts and emotions that come up to the surface. Your rational mind will try to sabotage you so you have to push it away and let yourself express your emotions on paper. You don’t have to write a thesis, stop trying too hard, nobody will see what you are writhing down, you won’t get a mark on your paper! So let yourself loose and free and be gentle and loving to yourself. Pat yourself on the back because you are taking the first step on your healing journey! I am proud of you! And if you reading this article and are thinking that you don’t have time to write, get this: your life will stay the same and you’ll be stuck in a rut! Make a priority of doing the work that will bring you on the other side of the tunnel! When you get your priorities straight, guess what? Time magically appears! Besides, nobody can do the work but you!
 
Tool number 2: Once you have expressed your thoughts, feelings and emotions, go back and reread everything and start underlying your limiting beliefs because they will inevitably come up.
 
Example:
Today, I felt miserable and lonely. He never called me nor texted me. I waited the whole day for him to give me a sign and nothing….I am so unwantedI feel so unlovable….being alone feels so lonely….
 
So as you see above, your limiting beliefs might be: I am unwanted, I am unlovable, etc.
 
Not that you have identified your limiting beliefs, it’s time to transform and choose more empowering beliefs because you know that your beliefs attract your reality and heavy emotions keep your vibration low. Low vibration equals manifesting more of what you don’t want to manifest!
 
Now make a table with two columns in write the negative beliefs in the left column and the new positive beliefs in the right column. Example: I am lovable and loved. People find me irresistible. You create your own positive and empowering beliefs, based on what resonates with you the most.
 
Now remember what I was saying earlier, that affirmations are not enough but there is a twist to my point. What matters when it comes to affirmations, is the timing that you are doing them. If you are doing them randomly during the day, only your conscious mind will be aware of them. But if you do them at specific moments of the day or during meditation when you brain is in theta or alpha waves, your subconscious mind will be able to be reprogramed with the new positive beliefs. Since your subconscious mind drives everything when it comes to your thoughts, emotions and actions, this is the correct way to do your affirmations!
 
The best timing to do affirmations is: 1) as soon as you wake up in the morning when you are still a little sleepy; 2) when you are almost falling asleep; 3) at the end of your meditation (if you meditate). If you are doing positive affirmations for at least 30 days at these peak moments of the day, you will transform your limiting beliefs and by doing that, your life will start transforming as well.
 
Your life is a mirror reflection of your beliefs about yourself, the world that surrounds you and of your sense of worth and deservedness. By transforming your mindset, you will transform your life!
 
Tool number 3: Now that you are more aware of the reasons you were feeling the way you were feeling and the limiting beliefs that were blocking you from manifesting your desired outcomes, you also realize that you are not a victim of the past anymore. That you are not a victim of your circumstances anymore and that today as an adult you can change your life because you don’t depend on anyone anymore like you used to depend on your caretakers as a child. You now have power over your life!
 
So now it’s time to change your sabotaging behaviors and patterns by again….talking to your subconscious mind. If you want permanent and real change, the key is always to do the work at the subconscious level, meaning that you have to reprogram your subconscious mind.
 
Only forcing a positive attitude and trying to have positive thoughts and doing affirmations when your brain is not in a state where in can be reprogramed (beta, gamma waves), you will not be able to change anything at the subconscious level. The subconscious mind is responsible of 90% of your thoughts, beliefs, emotions and actions so this is important for you to understand! If the work is not being done at the subconscious level that manipulates you like a puppet on strings, you will be a forever victim of your subconscious mind! But once you understand this important point, you are on your way to transforming your life!
 
So how do you transform your ingrained patterns that helped you to survive until now but sabotaged you out of getting what you really want and need? You talk to yourself like you would talk to your inner child in these peak moments I was talking about above.
Example:
I am now a lovable and worthy person. I can take my rightful place in this world. I can confidently ask for what I want and respect myself at all times. I love and accept myself fully and each day I am becoming a more authentic version of myself. I love myself.
 
Don’t use negative words or negative form when you are doing affirmations or when you are changing your patterns. Example: I don’t get rejected anymore. I don’t have debt anymore. Instead use: I am lovable and loved. I am creating more financial abundance.
 
By doing this loving self-talk to that inner child in you that feels like a victim of her circumstances, you reprogram your subconscious mind and by doing so, you will start to behave, to think and to act differently in a more empowered way! By stopping the sabotaging behaviors, you once had, you start attracting to yourself exactly what you want and need!
 
In conclusion, your present life and circumstances stem from your blocked emotions, your limiting beliefs and your ingrained patterns. Once you act on them at the subconscious level, your life will start mirroring back to you your new frequency and beliefs. You will start being a better version of yourself without forcing anything. You will still use your fun spiritual tools but they will only be the icing on the cake! So have that cake and eat it too! You can have abundance at all levels! If I managed to go from lack to abundance in my life and I was exactly where you are right now, that makes it possible for you as well! But do the work, you are worth it future Queen!
 
Bianca Piculeata
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counseling therapist, spiritual guide and Creator of the Transformation 360 method.

Here are the 10 amazing benefits of processing your emotions!

Here are the 10 amazing benefits of processing your emotions!
 
1. You will fill less empty – cutting yourself from your emotions is like denying a part of yourself – the more you allow yourself to feel, the more you have access to more parts of you that stay hidden. When you feel empty, it’s often because you are not in touch with past trauma, emotions from the past, parts of you that you have learned to hide in order to be loved and accepted.
 
2. Your intuition will become clearer – the more you express your emotions, the more you become centered and you get access to your wisdom, your inner gut feeling. When you don’t process your emotions, it’s like blocking intuition from reaching you. You need to become a clear vessel for your intuition to come through.
 
3. You could lose some weight (if you are used to drinking alcohol or eating when you don’t want to feel) – keeping your emotions buried had you piling on some weight. The less you need to burry your feelings and emotions, the less calories you’re intaking and the more unnecessary weight will start to drop off. The more you deal with and feel and express your emotions, the less you’ll go to food to help you cope.
 
4. You will feel more peace – it takes energy to not do what is natural to a human being – feeling your emotions, and the more you fight against your natural and born quality of having emotions, the more stress, anxiety will pile up in your system. Finding a healthy way to express your emotions be it journaling, seeing a therapist (etc.), speaking to a friend you trust and that is a good listener, etc, the more peace you will feel because underneath grief, sadness, anger, envy, fear, your soul is always at peace and trusting in a higher power.
 
5. Your energetical frequency will get higher, therefore manifest easier – if you hold low vibrational emotions, your frequency will be low, therefore you will keep attracting what you don’t want. The more you deal with your emotions and get them out of your system, the higher your frequency will get at and the easier will be for you to manifest what you want. Low frequency attracts low frequency situations and people and high frequency attracts high frequency situations and high frequency people to you. This is the law of attraction at work!
 
6. You will become more light and joyful – if you have built up emotional trauma, you might feel sad, depressed and heavy in your spirit. Put your emotions down on paper, talk to a non-judgmental and no-advice giving friend, paint a canvas without judging your artistic skills (dollar stores will do just fine). You need to express the negative emotions in order to access your positive emotions and anything else will be superficial, forceful and not lasting.
 
7. You will find the right solutions to your problems – if you keep your emotions bottled up, you will have the tendency to go in your head to find solutions and since the mind is limited (not like intuition – unlimited), you might not find the best solutions to your problems. If you deal with your pain, you get access to your intuition, therefore the best solutions will present themselves to you. By journaling and jotting down everything that bothers you on paper, you access the universal intelligence that you always have access to, if you do the necessary work.
 
8. It will become easier for you to put boundaries – if you get access to how you feel, you will uncover what its not ok for you and you will be able to better decide what boundaries you need to put around you in order for you to feel more respected by your friends, family or partner. If you ignore your inner boundaries and what you body is trying to communicate to you, you will not be able to know where you need to make yourself respected and communicate to others how you want to be treated. Others will not know your limits and you can not blame them because you don’t communicate clearly what is ok with you and what isn’t.
 
9. You will have less chances of becoming sick – emotions that are stuck in your system can become toxic for your body and for your body trying to deal with them and contain them, it could develop illnesses further down the road. I am not an expert on this, but I talk from experience and there are a few books that explain the emotional reasons for each illness. The more you get these toxic emotions out of your system, the less your body will have to express itself through sickness because there is so much that your body can take when it comes to toxic emotions.
 
10. You will uncover your limiting negative beliefs – behind every emotional blockage that you have, there is at least 1 limiting belief that is holding you back. The more I dove into my emotional blockages, the more I was able to uncover my own limiting beliefs and was able to transform them, and as a result, transform my life. Your limiting beliefs will limit you from experiencing your full power as a women, block you from loving and valuing yourself, from manifesting abundance in your life, etc. Limiting beliefs are truly disempowering and in order to uncover them, working to release your emotions is one of the easiest methods to be successful at finding your limiting beliefs.
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!
 

Why you should allow yourself to feel your emotions (for spiritual women)

Why you should allow yourself to feel your emotions! (for spiritual women)

I grew up in a house where emotions where like aliens…I learned to hide them, to be ashamed of them, to burry them with food. Having emotions and expressing them was not a natural thing in my home, the contrary was true.
 
So what was a girl like me to do when something difficult was happening to me that made me feel all kinds of emotions that I haven’t learned to deal with…or that I was in trouble and I needed to come up with a solution…
 
I ended up being so afraid of feeling because it was so alien to me to feel, that I was immediately going into my rational mind, trying to put a meaning on things or trying to find the perfect solution.
It took me years to allow myself to feel, to stop judging myself as too sensitive, to accept that I was an emotional human being and that emotions are TOTALLY NORMAL.
 
If it feels alien to you to feel and you find yourself overthinking, I need you to realize that you need to transform that pattern in order to stop overthinking. Here are 5 steps to help you with that.
 
1. Breathe, slowly breath in your tummy for 3 seconds, hold for 3 seconds and expel the air for 3 seconds. Repeat until you feel calmer.
 
2. Ask yourself: what I am feeling right now? Am I afraid, am I angry, upset, sad, insecure? Accept that emotion.
 
3. If you need to vent, start scribbling or writing on a note pad to get out your toxic emotions. Hit or scream in a pillow until your anger goes away. Cry until your feel at peace. Hold a teddy bear if you need comforting. Become that mother figure that you never had for your inner child, a mother that is nurturing, comforting, accepting and loving.
 
4. By releasing your emotions and allowing yourself to feel, you will find peace of mind and stop overthinking and this will give you access to your intuition. Remember that your mind is limited and your intuition is unlimited because it is connected to the universal intelligence. The best solutions and answers come from your intuition.
 
5. Return to your heart space, by putting your hand on your heart and ask yourself: what do I need right now? How can I accept more the situation because accepting is always the first step to less suffering? What can I do about this situation? What is the 1st step that I can take to resolve this conflict? Where do I need to let go on what I can’t do or can’t understand? And if you find any limiting beliefs, ask yourself if they are true? Because in most cases they are not.
 
Remember that emotions are natural and not allowing yourself to feel them will have lots of negative consequences on you and your life.
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

How to build emotional intimacy with your soulmate or future right partner

1. Express your emotions to your partner

If something bothers you and it’s hard for you to verbalize it, sit down with yourself and try to connect with your feelings. Jot down your feelings in a note book and when you get clear about what really bothers you, let your partner know that you would like to talk with him. Try to express yourself in a responsible way, without putting the guilt on him or making him feel responsible for your emotional built-up. Tell him clearly what you want and just express the fact that you want to be heard. Let him know that whatever his answer is, you will accept it. This way, he will feel free to give you a positive or negative answer without feeling pressured. Sometimes he will say yes and sometimes he will say no and he has the right to give you an honest answer, but don’t forget that in general, men want to please you and make you happy. Unless he is toxic, and this is a completely another story! The fact that you express yourself but you respect his position, will be beneficial for you and for him as well. The worst thing you can do is to hold your emotions inside, end up by having a huge emotional build-up and then starting screaming or be verbally violent towards him. I have been there myself in the past because I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions so believe me, I am not judging you! Since I have learned how to express myself, I felt so much more empowered and freer.

2. Have the courage to be vulnerable with your soulmate

Even if you fear rejection, try to show your vulnerable side and give him a chance to really know you. Do you usually have superficial conversations with him without ever going into more deep conversations about how you feel or don’t express the fact that you feel hurt or ignored? Do you tell yourself in your head that how you feel is not important? Are you afraid of being ignored by him or that he will change the subject? Did he already do that or is it just an irrational thought? Take a small chance and see how he reacts. The better he reacts and the more you will be ok with being vulnerable and as a consequence, he will also open his heart to you and tell you how he truly feels. It took me so many years to learn how to be vulnerable because in my childhood, I had learned that being sensitive was not normal or accepted. This made me to completely shut off from my emotions and don’t express how I truly felt.

3. Don’t confuse sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy

If you have never experienced emotional intimacy in your childhood, there is a high risk that you confuse sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy in your current love relationship. You will even want to have sexual intercourse to feel closer to your partner not knowing that real emotional intimacy comes from sharing your feelings, needs and opening your heart. In order to really connect with your soulmate, try instead to get closer to his heart and your sexual life will get even better.

4. Express your intense emotions first

Do you have the pattern of manifesting romantic partners that are not emotionally available? They run away as soon as you get upset and you have anger or resentment build-up? Those emotionally unavailable men will run away because they can’t take your intense emotions and don’t want to feel that it’s all their fault and responsibility. The way you can deal with this situation, is to express your anger or resentment by doing different things like: hit a pillow, take a tennis racket and hit your bed with it (it worked for me!). Anything that lets you express your intense emotional build-up but that doesn’t hurt anyone is perfect for you! Don’t be ashamed by how you feel. Us, human beings were created to have feelings so accept yourself with everything that you feel. As soon as you feel relieved, talk to your partner in a calm and responsible way and maybe this time around, he will be available to listen to you and not leave you by yourself.

If you have any questions, let me know below in the comments box. 

 

Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

Why you attract narcissistic partners – I explain it right here:

If you had parents or caretakers that lacked empathy or didn’t put your needs first as a child, you learned that your emotional needs weren’t important and that you were neither important nor valued. You learned to shut yourself off in order to not feel anymore because there was no empathy available for you and you learned to put other people’s needs first in order to feel loved, valued, recognized and important.
 
If you had to grow up very fast because you had to take care of either one of your parents or of your siblings (either emotionally or physically), you didn’t get to experience a nurturing and loving relationship by being taken care of or that relationship was cut very short. As a consequence, you didn’t learn to put yourself first and to take care of your needs because someone else was relying on you for their survival.
 
By adopting these patterns of survival yourself, later on, as an adult, you will attract partners that most often put their needs first and that lack empathy towards you. You will find that normal because this is the way that you were raised and you will not see the red flags at first and you might even think that it’s your fault because in some way you are not lovable, nor important nor valuable.
 
It is important to take a step back and ask yourself the following questions:
 
• Is it time for me to be the most important person in my life?
• Am I tired of always feeling that my emotions are not important?
• Am I tired of looking for validation outside of myself?
• Don’t I deserve better that being treated as not important?
• Do I deserve to be loved and to love myself?
• Do I deserve someone that gives importance to my needs?
• Do I deserve someone whom is emotionally available and to whom I can talk to?
 
If your answer to most of the above questions is yes, then you are ready to give yourself the importance and value that you deserve by asking for what you deserve and if your partner can not give you that maybe you are ready to heal yourself and attract your true love soulmate!
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

Don’t search for your soulmate before you do this

Are you planning to go on a dating site but you have a past of attracting the wrong partners? Then stop. This is not the right time to look for a partner. If you are still dealing with self-love, self-esteem issues or self-respect issues, this is the worst mistake you could do if you want to find the right partner!
 
Let me explain why. The fact that you have still deep healing to do is a major sign that you have negative limiting beliefs about yourself. Like: I don’t deserve to be loved; In order to be valued, I have to do and to give to others; In order to be loved, I have to let others step on my boundaries; I am not enough; I have little value; I am not important; my needs are not important, etc.
 
You want to attract your true love soulmate right? Then you need to know how manifestation works. We attract exactly what we are and think that we are. If we think bad thoughts about ourselves, we will attract men that will show, as a mirror, that what we believe about ourselves is true. So to make it simple for you: if you hold a belief that you are not important, you will attract a partner that will treat you in a way that you will make you feel not important. If you believe that you are unworthy of love, you will be treated in a way that makes you feel unloved or on the contrary, nothing will be enough for you to feel loved because deep inside of yourself, you don’t believe that you deserve to be loved. Therefore, it is crucial that you work on your mindset before any tentative of finding your soulmate to put all the chances of success on your side and not waste any more time.
 
Also, if you still have emotional wounds that haven’t been healed, they will be brought up in the relationship because there is nothing better than a romantic partner to wake in us what needs to come to the surface and be healed. They will trigger us exactly where we need to be triggered, in order for the junk to come to the surface and be brought to the light. If we don’t know how to release our pain in a healthy way, we will adopt unhealthy patterns in order to not feel our pain and this will create discord in our relationship. If you take the time to work on your communication skills and how to transform your emotional wounds, you will have better chances at succeeding.
 
Working on yourself it’s like putting together a beautiful fruit tart. If the basis is not solid and can’t hold the fruit together along with the custard, nothing will stay put and it will eventually come apart. Therefore, we need to make sure the basis of the relationship with ourself is solid before we try to build a relationship with someone else.
 
If we want to find a partner that makes us feel loved, cherished, valued, nourished and respected, we need to deeply believe that we are worthy of all these things. If not, we will attract exactly our mirror and then we will have to start again and again, losing precious years because we are not willing to stop and take a long look at ourself. If you have suffered from emotional or physical abuse or neglect in your past, it is vital that you work on yourself and the sooner you do it, the better you will get at attracting the right partner for you.
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

The secret to a healthy self-esteem in order to attract your Soulmate

The majority of us have been brought up to believe that self-esteem should come from how much we accomplish in life, what we do for others, how we show up in the world or how we are better than others. This is straight @#$….it and it made us become something that we are not. We have ended up wearing a mask, suffering from comparison, having trouble saying no or trying to impress others.
 
There is a much simpler definition to self-esteem. Self-esteem should be based on the capacity to recognize ourselves as a unique and beautiful creation of God (Creator of the Universe). Every woman is God’s creation, therefore, every woman should have self-esteem for herself, period.
 
If you catch yourself comparing yourself to other women, know that you will always end up losing, since you would have to be the best in the world at something in order to not lose. By simply accepting yourself as you are and choosing to see your qualities and gifts as enough, you will become more solid and confident. Try to be a better version that yesterday and one day you will be your best version!
 
If you have trouble saying no to people by fear of them disapproving of you or losing the value in their eyes, remember that no one’s opinion is more important than yours. When you fall into the trap of giving your power away by giving more importance to the opinion of others, you are self-abandoning. The next time if feel like saying “no” to someone instead of an﮴”yes”, remember that you don’t owe nothing to anyone and you are free of choosing yourself. If you lose their friendship or admiration, it means that there was nothing solid to begin with in the beginning. By doing so, you will gain more self-respect and self-esteem.
 
If you hide facets of yourself in order to be something that you think it’s more valuable than what you already are, it is time for you to reclaim your true self. All the facets of your inner diamond are precious and you should show them to the world, because they make you the unique person that you are. A simple way of finding out which parts of yourself are hidden, it’s to be aware of what qualities you admire in others or you are envious of. Those qualities are already in you and are just waiting to be claimed by you in order to show themselves.
 
If you are killing yourself at work in order to prove your value, know that you are exhausting yourself in vain. You are already valuable and enough. You don’t need to be in burnout or almost there, to feel valuable or that you are worth something. This is all wrong! You got it all wrong and it’s not your fault! It’s just the way you were brought up and it’s time now for you to release all the pressure you are putting on yourself (I already did this in the past and I had my lesson! I almost touched burnout when I realized that I was valuing myself from a wrong perspective!).
 
If you have a healthy self-esteem you won’t attract partners that take advantage of you or abuse you so it is very important to get your self-esteem back and realize that your unique blend of qualities, traits, personality and gifts make you so special!
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

Conditional love vs. unconditional love

In all my past relationships, I had hoped that I would be loved unconditionally and yet, I wasn’t (and maybe I wasn’t loving them unconditionally either!). There were two long relationships where I wasn’t ready to have kids and my partners chose to be with someone else because of that. My dream of being loved by someone no matter if I chose to have kids or not was crushed and then I realized that they wanted to have kids more than they wanted to be with me. Is this true and unconditional love? Or is this more of a transaction: I will stay with you as long as you give me what I want?
 
True unconditional love shouldn’t come with rules or conditions. True, unconditional love is a desire to be with the person that you love no matter if she gives you what you want or not. We should choose to be with our partner, not because we need him but because we want to be with him. True unconditional love doesn’t take into account: status, religion, fortune, origin or gender.
 
But, does that mean that you have to accept anything or everything? No, absolutely not! If your partner cheats on you or abuses you, you should not accept that! Because accepting cheating or any kind of abuse would mean that you don’t love yourself. When you truly love yourself, you know what is acceptable or not, you have an inner nudge that tells you: this is acceptable and this is not! This helps you to put healthy boundaries and to respect yourself.
 
The more you love yourself unconditionally, the more you will be able to love others unconditionally and to know how you allow others to treat you. When you truly love yourself, you will attract your mirror, meaning your true Love Soulmate that will love you with no conditions because they will want to share their life with you not because of what you give them but because of simply whom you are and that is exempt of conditions.
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!