The myths and lies on emotions

THE MYTHS AND LIES ON EMOTIONS…
 
You should be ashamed of your emotions…
 
You should not show your emotions…
 
You should hide how you feel and make others believe you are fine…
 
You should control your emotions…
 
You are too much, stop being so intense…
 
You are too sensitive, stop crying!
 
No wonder, you have learned to stuff down your emotions with food or alcohol, to watch TV (Netflix anyone?) to numb yourself, to feel disconnected from yourself, to feel wrong for being sensitive, for not knowing how to deal with your emotional triggers when someone says something or does something to you that triggers you and your emotional wounds…
 
THE TRUTH IS THAT :
 
You were created to have emotions…
 
Emotions are perfectly normal, not having emotions is not…
 
You had parents that did not know how to comfort you or listen to you when you were emotional…
 
You have not learned to deal with your emotions therefore you fall into the trap of bad habits to numb your emotions…
 
Your anxiety is just a sign that blocked emotions need to come up to the surface and be released…
 
You might feel completely disconnected from yourself…because when you cut yourself from feeling, you cut yourself from your essence, whom you are…
 
Emotions are the pathway to your true self because they have a message and you are not listening to that message….therefore not being true to yourself
 
The validation you need from others is just a sign that you are completely disconnected from your own higher self…whom always accepts you and values you
 
We live in a society where women are judged for being emotional especially empaths and lightworkers
 
IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO:
 
Give yourself the right to feel whatever emotions are there for you…
 
Accept that you might be more sensitive that the majority of women…because you have an empathic soul…
 
Accept that it is painful to feel after all these years of numbing yourself…one day at a time makes it easier…practice staying aware of your feelings even if it’s a few seconds per day….increase the time when you feel ready to go to the next level!
 
Find ways to express yourself either being painting, journaling, especially if you are introverted (ask for the violet flame of Master St-Germain (a purple, pink and violet flame) to envelop you and comfort you and ease the intensity of your emotions but still do the work of expressing and releasing your emotions)…
 
Give yourself the right to be yourself and be vulnerable towards the people that are close to you and that you trust…since being vulnerable helps you build a strong intimate connection with your partner or future partner…
 
IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO BECOME WHOM YOU WERE MADE TO BE…A WOMAN WITH EMOTIONAL POWER…
 
THE POWER OF BEING A HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS THAT GUIDE YOU TOWARDS YOUR TRUE SELF, TO YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS AND BOUNDARIES AND YOUR LIFE MISSION…
 
Feeling your emotions allows you to feel your boundaries and say no…and so much more benefits:
 
…it allows you to feel what you truly want and ask for it…
 
…it allows you to tap into your intuition easier because by releasing emotions you clear the channel to have a more clear intuition…
 
…it allows you to get to know yourself more…
 
…it allows you to release emotional blockages that keep your vibration low…and therefore attract situations and people to you that you don’t want…
 
…it allows you to avoid feeling sick because emotions that are stuck in your physical body can become physical ailments later on in your life…
 
…it allows you to get clear on your negative beliefs and choose new and more empowering ones…
 
…it allows you to release your emotional wounds from your childhood in your to stop manifesting the same pattern over and over again….it gets you out of the loop of living the same frustrations over and over…
 
Basically, emotions are a treasure if you allow yourself to feel your uncomfortable emotions, but this treasure is really worth it!
 
Without accepting to feel and release your emotions, you will feel like an alien in your own body because you will feel empty. That emptiness is not feeling what wants to come up and tell you a message…
 
Are you ready to listen and discover the jewels of your inner treasure?
 
Ask me any questions beautiful soul, it will be my great pleasure to guide you…
 
Bianca aka Mystical Queen Goddess

The 5 emotional wounds, abandonment, rejection, humiliation, betrayal and injustice

 The 5 emotional wounds– Abandonment, Rejection, Humiliation, Betrayal and Injustice
 
In this article, I am going to speak to you about the 5 most common emotional wounds to help you identify if you have them and to help you better know and understand yourself as well as how to heal yourself. Just by identifying the emotional wounds that have impacted you, will help empower you and you’ll be able to understand and accept yourself more.
 
Every emotional wound can leave painful feelings, ingrained patterns and limiting beliefs but there is also a gift to uncover if you take the time to heal and transform them. In this article, I will go over them in order to show you that if you are serious about healing your emotional trauma, you will be winning on the other side. There are beautiful gifts that await for you on the other side of recovery.
 
It’s not always what happens that is the reason behind emotional wounds. Most often, because of the vulnerability, the personality and sensibility of a child, it’s how the child interpreted the event that will have the ultimate impact on her. The same event can happen to two children and the impact will be completely different. The more sensitive child you were, the more certain events and behaviors of your primary caretakers will have an impact on you.
 
1. The abandonment emotional wound
 
There doesn’t have to be real abandonment in order for a child to feel abandoned. Children are very sensitive and they can easily feel abandoned. It can be your mother that promised you something and she didn’t keep her promise, it can be your father not showing up at your birthday, it can be the lack of emotional support. It can also be real abandonment, like a mother abandoning her child or the father disappearing by leaving his wife and children. It doesn’t really matter how the child in you felt abandoned, what really matters is how you, as an adult, are coping with your abandonment issues.
 
You can very easily be triggered and feel abandoned. Example: you set up an appointment with your boyfriend and he arrives 30 minutes late without warning you. You wait and you wait and you get so anxious and feel so many painful emotions but you don’t know what to do. You might feel unsafe, not important, not valuable et so on….You are angry and you want to cry and when you finally meet with him, you are so angry and you scold him. You might even feel rage and not want to talk with him anymore. What we notice here, is that the trigger is rather small in comparison with the emotions that are felt and this is a warning that healing is needed here. It doesn’t excuse the behavior of your boyfriend but rather shows the difference between the trigger and the emotional pain that is felt.
 
If you don’t tackle this emotional pain, each time there will be a trigger, you will feel the same pain over and over. You will try to cope with it by trying to change your partner or even control him but because you take power over someone else instead of trying to change yourself, the universe will send you the same trigger over and over until you understand that you hold the power over your healing and over your life. You will attract the same situations over and over until you have had enough and you release your past trauma related to abandonment.
 
How to do you heal from abandonment issues? After an event where you have felt abandoned, you go home and you get your journal out. You write down absolutely everything that you feel, you let yourself scream and cry, you don’t judge or rationalize what comes out. You do this until there is nothing left and you have found your limiting (negative) beliefs. Underneath every emotional wound, there are often limiting beliefs. You can easily transform your limiting beliefs by affirming new positive beliefs as soon as you wake up or just before falling asleep. You can apply this exercise for every emotional wound that I talk about in this article. I give you the exact 3 steps of healing your trauma in the video at the end of this article.
 
Another way to heal your abandonment wound is to practice self-care and to keep yourself busy when you feel alone and lonely. Do your favorite activities, put yourself first, practice a new hobby, do what brings you the most joy, create, learn, read, write, anything that fuels your soul. By putting yourself first, you will create that sense of security and importance that you so need to heal yourself.
 
The positive aspect of healing your abandonment emotional wound is that you learn to prioritize yourself, to take care of yourself, to love yourself and to take care of your own needs. When you are at this stage of loving yourself and putting yourself first, you will not be triggered anymore and in a situation where your partner is late, you might even feel just a bit disappointed and even make the decision to not wait after him. You will feel strong and empowered and make the best decision in every situation and not feel that you depend on someone’s else treatment because you always have your back.
 
Also ask yourself: where in your life are you abandoning yourself? Where do you put others first? Where do you choose partners that abuse you in the name of love? Where do you cling onto other people because you can’t be alone? We often abandon ourselves and expect others to be there for us when we are not loving and putting ourselves first.
 
On the spiritual side, the abandonment wound teaches you that you are the child of God. Even if everyone abandons you, you are never abandoned by God whom loves you. When you connect with the love of God, you will feel an unconditional love that will heal you and fill you up.
 
2. The rejection emotional wound
 
The rejection emotional wound stems from being rejected over and over in your childhood years. It hurts you so much that you’ll eventually learn to avoid rejection and you’ll reject yourself before anyone can reject you. You become fearful, you walk on egg shells and you calculate every little gesture that could mean you could get rejected and hurt.
 
By learning to avoid people in order to not get rejected, you don’t get to create new relationships and you might even find yourself isolated, sad and lonely. You need to realize that not all people reject you and if you have had parents that didn’t know how to love you but rejected you, is not your fault. You need to stop rejecting yourself because you don’t depend on anybody anymore. When you stop rejecting yourself, you don’t really care anymore because the worst pain doesn’t come from being rejected but from rejecting yourself. A child will always put the fault on her in order to survive, therefore learn that there is something wrong in her that makes people reject her.
 
The truth is that there is nothing wrong with you and you were always perfectly imperfect, valuable and enough.
 
Getting back in the zone of going towards people and start building new relationships is vital to your happiness. Start testing one day at a time and you’ll see that the majority of people will not reject you so that you train your brain to take the risk of going towards new people.
 
You can do the same healing exercise referenced above for the abandonment emotional wound in order to release any trapped emotions in your body and so that you transform any limiting belief that you might have because of your rejection wound. By doing that, you won’t have to force yourself to go towards people, you’ll be more natural because you would have removed all emotional and mental blockages by doing the healing work.
 
The positive side of healing the rejection wound is that you learn to accept yourself fully and to fully embrace whom you are no matter if people like you or not. Knowing that you always accept yourself no matter what, will make you feel more empowered and courageous when you interact with other people therefore giving you the chance of enriching your social life.
 
Ask yourself, where am I rejecting myself? Where do I give in to the fear of being rejected instead of putting my needs first and take that risk of being rejected? Where do I reject myself because of the fear of being rejected by others?
 
On the spiritual side, the rejection wound teaches you that you are never alone. Your guides and angels always protect you and have an eye on you, therefore you are never rejected and alone. Loneliness is only an illusion created by the 3D world. In the spiritual world, you are always loved, guided and protected.
 
3. The humiliation emotional wound
 
Humiliation can stem from being ridiculed, laughed at, judged or critiqued in your childhood years or it can happen when you are humiliated in front of more than one person. Humiliation can be a very painful emotional wound as well. You would feel shame and ridicule and you will learn to protect yourself by hiding whom you truly are, by wearing a mask to hide your true self. You will learn to avoid being center stage because you will learn to avoid humiliation at all costs. You will avoid showing your true self because you deeply believe that whom you are is shameful and should be hidden.
 
How do we heal from the humiliation wound? First, we start to accept that it’s ok to do mistakes, it’s ok to not be perfect, it’s ok to be different and unique, it’s ok to not have the perfect body. We should not be ridiculed for whom we are, how we behave or what we say or believe in. Healing starts with radical self-acceptance, with expressing any emotions related to our humiliation wound be it shame, anger, resentment, guilt, felling worthless, feeling bad, feeling not accepted. Once we accept that we are not perfect and that it’s ok to do mistakes, we stop caring about other people’s opinions and we start taking to risk of being and showing whom we truly are at our core. We slowly remove the mask that we wear and we show our true colors while being ok with other people’s views of us and we are our true selves no matter the consequences because we have learned to fully love and accept ourselves no matter what.
 
The positive side of healing your humiliation wound is that you get the courage to get out there a make a fool out of yourself because you are free of other people’s opinions or ridicule. It is so freeing to be yourself and to truly show whom you are authentically. You take critique with a grain of salt and only keep the constructive criticism and let everything else out. You put your own opinion above everything else, therefore letting others the freedom of being themselves. Because you free yourself, you give others the freedom of being themselves.
 
You have to ask yourself: where do I put myself in humiliating situations? Where don’t I respect myself and let others humiliate me and not take a stand for myself? Where don’t I stand up for myself and accept myself fully?
 
On the spiritual side, the humiliation wound teaches us to fully accept and embrace whom we are, to see ourselves as perfectly imperfect, to forgive ourselves and to shine our light no matter other people’s opinions or judgements. We are a spirit in a body first and foremost and we have come here to experience life through our unique view and personality and to learn from our experience and mistakes.
 
4. The betrayal emotional wound
 
The betrayal emotional wound stems from having your trust broken. Someone does something to you that makes you feel you can’t trust them anymore, something that broke the trust you had in them. If you confide in someone you trust and that person tells someone else about it or uses that against you for their own benefit or to critique, guilt or berate you, that is considered betrayal as well.
 
Betrayal has a big impact on your relationship because you will feel unsafe to confide yourself in that person, especially if that person is very close to you or is a love partner. You might try to repair the trust and take a chance again with that relationship but if that person betrays you again, this could harm the relationship or you could become very protective of what you are saying to that person.
 
If you learn to not trust a person that is very close to you that is supposed to love and protect and keep you safe and not use your vulnerability against you, you will have trouble trusting other people in your life. You will keep your secrets and your thoughts to yourself because you will have trouble trusting people.
 
How do we heal the betrayal wound? We express our emotions in relation to it and we choose what we share and what do not share until that person deserves our full trust. You can journal out any emotions related to how you felt when you were betrayed and find any limiting beliefs that stem from that wound. You can then transform these beliefs with more positive and empowering beliefs.
 
The positive side of healing your betrayal wound is that you learn to trust yourself before trusting others, that you learn to protect yourself when needed. You learn that ultimately you are the key keeper of your heart and that some people need to earn your trust before having access to it.
 
You have to also ask yourself where are you betraying yourself? Saying yes when you want to say no, trying to please other people while not taking into your account your own needs, accepting something that is not acceptable to you, not listening to your gut instinct, not following your intuition but other people’s opinions or advice.
 
On the spiritual side of things, the betrayal emotional wound teaches you that you have to ultimately trust yourself and be loyal to yourself. That you are responsible of protecting yourself and you should safeguard your vulnerability with people that don’t deserve your trust. It teaches us to stop betraying ourselves and listen to our inner guidance instead of listening to the outside noise and to take our own values into consideration instead of searching for outside validation and reassurance.
 
5. The injustice emotional wound
 
The injustice emotional wound stems from an injustice done into you in your childhood years. Something that you felt was not fair, and should have not been done to you. The injustice wound can leave a very deep scar in you and it can leave you feeling hopeless, angry, powerless.
 
You will see no solution and you feel that injustice that has been done into you can’t be repaired. Injustice is very painful as well because you feel that you can not change what has been done to you and that you have no power over what happened to you.
 
How do you heal your injustice wound? You express all emotions that come from that injustice wound and you transform your limited beliefs linked to that wound. You start making yourself justice on the things you can control and let go of the things you can not control.
Gift of the injustice wound: The best thing that can happen from the injustice wound is that we realize that we do have power in our life over other things. Were in your life you are not using your full power to get ahead in your life and get your dreams and objectives come true by applying your potential to make them true? Ask yourself: where am I betraying myself by putting my dreams and goals aside and by not fully investing myself in making them come true? Where am I betraying myself and not listening to my intuition? Where am I betraying myself by not affirming my needs and taking my rightful place and for standing for what I believe in? Where am I betraying myself by giving my time and energy to people that use me and occupations that don’t make me go forward in life?
 
On the spiritual side of things, the injustice emotional wound teaches us to stop sabotaging ourselves out of creating our best life. It teaches us to make ourselves justice by doing whatever necessary and fully applying ourselves and being consistent in making our dreams, objectives and dreams come true. It teaches us the importance of creating our best life by prioritizing objectives instead of giving away our time and energy to people and things that don’t deserve our valuable time and energy. It teaches us to consecrate ourselves fully to our dreams even if it means that we have to sacrifice, be consistent and focused. While we do not have control over everything in our lives and we might feel powerless, we do have control over some of it and this is where we can be powerful. Also, remember that nothing happens against you, everything happens for you, therefore, let life give you that necessary push towards the right direction by derailing you from the wrong path. Sometimes, injustice is a blessing in disguise!
 
If you are serious about emotional trauma, I have a video that gives you the 3 tools to heal trauma for good: https://youtu.be/8_QBeWpyqoU
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method
 

TOP 3 TOOLS you can use to release energetical blockages and transform limiting beliefs in order to manifest what you want (for spiritual women)

TOP 3 TOOLS you can use to release energetical blockages and transform limiting beliefs and get much closer to attracting better experiences and more ABUNDANCE in your life AT ALL LEVELS! (for spiritual women)

 Are you ready to transform your life? Then read the following! Why is the following important? Because without doing the necessary work to release your emotional blockages, transforming your limiting beliefs and raising your frequency, you will forever stay STUCK and UNHAPPY.
 
The more you heal and release emotional blockages, the more your energetical frequency rises up and the closer you will get to attracting your true love soulmat, more money, more inner peace and self-confidence. 
 
In a recent FB Live I did, a lady in my group commented that she can not heal because she IS BROKEN 😌, which made me think that other women out there and maybe even yourself might think this to be true about yourself because of your difficult past, that you are BROKEN in some type of way or form and there is no hope for you, which is completely not true!
 
You are not a lamp, not a wood table, not a glass that can be broken, you are an energetical being and energy can not be destroyed but only transformed 🌟💫.
 
So if you want to heighten your energetical frequency, here are my top 3 tools you can use to release energetical blockages and limiting beliefs and get much closer to attracting better experiences and more ABUNDANCE in your life.
 
TOOL NUMBER 1: – Identify a current trigger in your life. It can be a negative belief about yourself (I am broken, I am not enough, Something is wrong with me) or something that someone did to you and pissed you off. Practical exercise: Take a piece of paper and a pen or pencil 📝, and jot down everything that comes up without judging anything what you are writing. Don’t try to analyze or understand and shut down your mental just for a moment and TRUST THAT WHATEVER COMES OUT ON THAT PAPER IS OK. You don’t need to judge it, to analyze it, to understand it, to make it valid or not. Trust yourself because the more you let your mental mind control your emotional mind, the more you will stay energetically blocked and tour energetical frequency will stay the same, therefore manifest the same S?*T IN YOUR LIFE. By writing down anything that you think or feel and expressing everything WITHOUT CENSORING YOURSELF, you will release emotional blockages and also identify current limiting beliefs that you might have underneath the ones that you are already aware of. These limiting beliefs are key for the next tool number 2 that will bring your transformation process further.
 
TOOL NUMBER 2: – Once you have identified the limiting beliefs in Tool number 1, it is time for you to transform these beliefs 🎉! Practical exercise: Take a piece of paper and draw a table with two columns. In the 1st column to the left, write down your limiting negative beliefs (example: I am not worthy of love, I am not valuable, I am weird), and in the right column, write down new positive beliefs that you want to have (I am worthy of love, I love myself first, I am valuable, I am ok as I am, I accept myself fully). Try to memorize these new positive beliefs and AS SOON AS YOU WAKE UP and WHEN YOU ARE JUST FALLING ASLEEP (BEST TIME TO REPROGRAM YOUR MIND), repeat these beliefs in your head for at least 30 days. Slowly but surely, your unconscious will buy into these new beliefs and your life will start to transform to reflect your NEW POSITIVE BELIEFS. SO WITHIN, SO WITHOUT! So within, so without means that your inner beliefs and thoughts manifest themselves in your outer reality. In order to transform your life 👑🥰, you need to transform yourself internally first! (Personal note: I will tattoo myself this sentence (so within, so without!), this is how much I believe it is true for anybody that wants to learn how to manifest more abundance in their life!). This is an UNIVERSAL TRUTH and when you have understood this, you have made A MAJOR LEAP IN YOUR LIFE!
 
TOOL NUMBER 3 – Choose your feelings consciously to RAISE YOUR VIBRATION. If you are feeling anger, sadness, frustration, sorrow, grief, resentment, envy, jealousy, these are very low vibrational emotions that will keep you stuck in manifesting difficult situations OVER AND OVER AGAIN. If you feel stuck and unhappy and can’t manage to MANIFEST WHAT YOU REALLY WANT in your life, this is a powerful tool to GET UNSTUCK! Practical exercise: Close your eyes, take three deep breaths, imagine putting all your difficult emotions in a box and giving it away to the universe to transmute it into light and give thanks. Have the intention to heal and feel GRATITUDE for your healing! Your intention is a very powerful tool as well! You will feel instant relief and lighter than before, continue giving your heavy vibrational emotions for transmutation into light, until you feel that there is a empty space for new higher vibrational emotions to fill in that space that you have cleaned out: practice feeling more PEACE, LOVE, GRATITUDE and FAITH that anything you need will show up for you when you need it.
 
EXTRA TOOL NUMBER 4: MIND YOUR WORDS! Don’t speak negative words or affirmations into existence. Your words are very powerful! Be also aware of contradictions that might come out of your mouth like: I want more money, but I am broke! I want to meet someone that loves me but I am unlovable! It will cancel away all your positive intention because your words are like speaking a new reality into your existence.
 
If you practice all these 4 tools in the next months seriously, I guarantee this will change your life and you will start attracting better experiences and more abundance in your life, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO THE WORK. Do not stay in a VICTIM MENTALITY and do the necessary work to take yourself outside of your current reality and manifest the best reality for yourself 👑 !
 
Ask me any questions you might have below. 💜
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

How to build emotional intimacy with your soulmate or future right partner

1. Express your emotions to your partner

If something bothers you and it’s hard for you to verbalize it, sit down with yourself and try to connect with your feelings. Jot down your feelings in a note book and when you get clear about what really bothers you, let your partner know that you would like to talk with him. Try to express yourself in a responsible way, without putting the guilt on him or making him feel responsible for your emotional built-up. Tell him clearly what you want and just express the fact that you want to be heard. Let him know that whatever his answer is, you will accept it. This way, he will feel free to give you a positive or negative answer without feeling pressured. Sometimes he will say yes and sometimes he will say no and he has the right to give you an honest answer, but don’t forget that in general, men want to please you and make you happy. Unless he is toxic, and this is a completely another story! The fact that you express yourself but you respect his position, will be beneficial for you and for him as well. The worst thing you can do is to hold your emotions inside, end up by having a huge emotional build-up and then starting screaming or be verbally violent towards him. I have been there myself in the past because I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions so believe me, I am not judging you! Since I have learned how to express myself, I felt so much more empowered and freer.

2. Have the courage to be vulnerable with your soulmate

Even if you fear rejection, try to show your vulnerable side and give him a chance to really know you. Do you usually have superficial conversations with him without ever going into more deep conversations about how you feel or don’t express the fact that you feel hurt or ignored? Do you tell yourself in your head that how you feel is not important? Are you afraid of being ignored by him or that he will change the subject? Did he already do that or is it just an irrational thought? Take a small chance and see how he reacts. The better he reacts and the more you will be ok with being vulnerable and as a consequence, he will also open his heart to you and tell you how he truly feels. It took me so many years to learn how to be vulnerable because in my childhood, I had learned that being sensitive was not normal or accepted. This made me to completely shut off from my emotions and don’t express how I truly felt.

3. Don’t confuse sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy

If you have never experienced emotional intimacy in your childhood, there is a high risk that you confuse sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy in your current love relationship. You will even want to have sexual intercourse to feel closer to your partner not knowing that real emotional intimacy comes from sharing your feelings, needs and opening your heart. In order to really connect with your soulmate, try instead to get closer to his heart and your sexual life will get even better.

4. Express your intense emotions first

Do you have the pattern of manifesting romantic partners that are not emotionally available? They run away as soon as you get upset and you have anger or resentment build-up? Those emotionally unavailable men will run away because they can’t take your intense emotions and don’t want to feel that it’s all their fault and responsibility. The way you can deal with this situation, is to express your anger or resentment by doing different things like: hit a pillow, take a tennis racket and hit your bed with it (it worked for me!). Anything that lets you express your intense emotional build-up but that doesn’t hurt anyone is perfect for you! Don’t be ashamed by how you feel. Us, human beings were created to have feelings so accept yourself with everything that you feel. As soon as you feel relieved, talk to your partner in a calm and responsible way and maybe this time around, he will be available to listen to you and not leave you by yourself.

If you have any questions, let me know below in the comments box. 

 

Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

Why you don’t feel loved – I explain it here:

No matter what someone does, if you have a deep-rooted limiting belief that you don’t deserve love, you will always struggle with feeling loved. You will look for reassurance outside of yourself and feel that nothing the person says or does reassures you long term. You will try to sabotage the relationship because deep down you need to be consistent with your external reality. If you don’t believe that you deserve love and your partner shows you affection and love, there will be a conflict within you. This will create tension and make you do things that sabotage the relationship like having doubts, pushing the person to do more or show you more love, provoke a fight, being jealous, etc.
 
You need to work on the subconscious belief that you don’t deserve love in order to replace it with the belief that YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. When you will do that, you will start feeling loved and the feeling will stay without you having to search for proof or reassurance. By doing that, you will find peace within yourself and remove all the pressure you put on your partner. Therefore, your relationship will get better and if you are single, you will be less dependent on finding love outside of yourself and instead be motivated to love yourself more which I’m turn will attract your right partner.
 
Or maybe that you don’t you love yourself? I explain it right here:
 
One of the main reasons you don’t love yourself is because you didn’t learn to love yourself. If you were mistreated in your childhood, heavily critiqued or compared, if you have experienced verbal or physical abuse, if you were bullied, not respected or controlled or dominated, you didn’t have a healthy environment in which you could develop self-love.
 
A child will not put the fault on his parents if he is abused (because a child needs to feel safe) but instead, will put the fault on himself and will start making up beliefs about himself like: I am a bad kid; I don’t deserve to be loved; I am not enough; I don’t deserve to be happy; my needs are not important; etc.
 
Unfortunately, as we are growing up, we bring these negative beliefs and self-worth issues into our adulthood without realising that we are shooting ourself in the foot. We forget that we are not children anymore and that we have power over our life. So we keep dragging these limiting beliefs like a bag of garbage that we refuse to throw out.
 
Today, you don’t depend on anyone anymore, you can start believing that you are lovable and worthy, that you are a good person and that you are enough!
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!
 

Why you don’t accept yourself fully – I explain it here :

If you have trouble accepting yourself, this can stem from your childhood. If you didn’t feel accepted as you were by your parents or caretakers you will have trouble accepting yourself later in life. You have internalized those negative voices in your head and your small loving inner voice is buried somewhere beneath all this noise: “You aren’t good enough”; “Look how better she is than you!; “You are so dumb”; “You cry too much; “You are too this or too that”; “Don’t do this, don’t be like that”. Being constantly critiqued, diminished, compared, laughed at, humiliated or judged will make you think that you are not ok as you are, that you should be something else, that you have to be like other people that you perceive as being better than you, that you are damaged or weird, that what you are is not acceptable or ok, that you have to hide what makes you unique and original. The downside of that is that you hide what makes you so unique and beautiful and you learn to be a white sheep surrounded by other white sheep instead of being a purple sheep that is proud to be different. You can also be a magnificent peacock, if you ask me! Be what ever your soul wants you to be! 
 
Later in life, you don’t get to know and discover whom you truly are and accept yourself fully with all your facets whatever they are because you are either ashamed or scared to show them. You have to realize first that you don’t have to be anything than yourself since there never was, there is not and there will never be someone exactly like you. It is your uniqueness that makes you valuable, magical and special! You have to learn to embrace your quirks, perceived defaults and limits as well as your talents, gifts and difference. It’s this potent potion of abilities, gifts, quirks and  personality that make you stand out! that  Learn to observe those negative voices in your head and to replace them with a kind and accepting voice that ignores that poisonous chattering in your head and instead has a loving and encouraging tone. You don’t have to be perfect, neither better than someone else, neither something else that you already are, you have to be your best version and strive to be better each day. You unique point of comparison should be the yesterday version of yourself.
 
Look at whom you admire and know that you have those same qualities and gifts as them or you can develop them with time. If not, you would not be able to recognize those same characteristics in them. You have to recuperate those facets of yourself that you have learned to hide in order to be accepted, valued, recognized or loved by others. Those facets of yourself are waiting for your permission to show themselves and help you become your best version!
 
The more you learn to accept yourself as you are and the less importance you will give others about what they think of you. You also have to accept that it’s ok to not be fully accepted by others, it’s ok to not be loved by everyone, it’s ok to stand out and be weird in other people’s eyes! You are the only one that has the responsibility to love and accept yourself fully. You are God’s divine creation (or however you call the creator of the universe) and that makes you special, unique and precious! Never forget that!
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

How not to be manipulated by a man

Here are three tips on how to prevent being manipulated by a man:
 
1. He must be consistent
 
Don’t take into consideration a man’s words but instead look at the consistency of his actions towards you. Is he consistent in giving you attention and time? Is he consistent in calling or texting you? Is he consistent in making you his priority? Is his consistent in making you feel important and valuable?
 
If he’s only giving you attention when he wants something from you, don’t take him seriously. You deserve much better than someone whom is wishy washy. A man that is consistent for a long period of time, shows that he is serious about the relationships he has with you.
 
2. His words are matching his actions
 
Whatever he promises to you, he honors it most of the time. He has the right to change his mind but if he’s only words and no actions, be aware. Don’t be fooled by beautiful words if his actions say otherwise. Him honoring his promises to you shows that you are important and valuable to him.
 
3. Men can be wonderful until….
 
…they get what they want. If he’s charming, loving and caters to your needs and after you give in with sex for example he changes radically, then you fell into his trap. Men have this talent of manipulating you into believing that they are so good to you and can easily wear a mask to make you believe it. As soon as they get what they want, they remove their mask without any shame and you get to see their true nature. How to not fall into that trap? Take your time to get to know him well and don’t give him sex until you both have feelings for each other and you feel ready. By taking your time to really know him, establishing a heart to heart connection and being vulnerable with each other, he will have the time to open his heart and fall in love with you or to leave if he’s not interested in getting to know you other than physically.
 
I hope that those tips bring you more awareness into the psychology of how man can be and you avoid getting into the trap of being manipulated by a man next time you are in a similar situation.

How to find self-esteem after a break-up

If you lost your self-esteem after a difficult break-up, there are a few ways you can reclaim your self-esteem. I will share 4 tips in this article:
 
1. Remind yourself that you are God’s creation
 
You are God’s (or whatever name you give to the creator of the universe) creation so that means you are special. There never was, there is not and there will never be someone exactly like you. You are unique and nobody can replace you, therefore you must value yourself accordingly. One day you will find your soulmate and the fact that you are single and heartbroken today doesn’t diminish your value.
 
2. Remind yourself that you are limitless
 
There is nothing that you can not create if you have a dream and the talent for it. No matter how you feel right now: lonely, sad or angry, not worthy or not loved, tell yourself that this is temporary. You are not defined by a man’s love towards you. You are defined by the beauty that resides within you and by the power of the love that you hold into your heart. Take your power back by concentrating on your dreams and objectives and give yourself what you want. Practice self-love during this solitary period and do things that bring you bliss.
 
3. Take pride in sharing whom you really are
 
This is the time to get to know yourself more. What have you left on the side that you would like to reintroduce into your life now there is space for it? What activities or passions are waiting for you to reintroduce into your life? What do you want to create? What do you want to share with the world? You have unique gifts that can benefit the world and you could start sharing these with the ones that would love to benefit from them!
 
4. Take your time to digest your pain
 
If you have difficult emotions that you need to process like anger or sadness, take your time to get through them. The sooner you express them, the shorter the period of mourning the relationship will be. You can write in a journal or talk to someone that you can trust. You can learn from this relationship what you no longer want in a relationship and what lessons you have learned. If this relationship didn’t work out, is because someone else is better for you. It is ok to think about memories or fall into the trap of seeing your ex or wanting to go back to him, nobody is perfect. The important thing is to decide one day that you deserve better and that going back to something that will not work out, is turning in circles and not giving yourself the space to heal.
 
I hope that these tips shed more light on this topic and until next time, much love.
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

Why do you keep going back to your ex? I explain it right here:

Are you one of those women that keeps going back to her ex? You would like to stop doing it but you can’t stop going back?
 
Here are 4 reasons that could explain why you keep falling into the same trap:
 
1. You don’t want to deal with difficult emotions
 
You would rather think about him or try to contact him rather to sit down and feel your emotions. You are afraid that some painful emotions would come up and that you would not be able to process them. I recommend that when you feel that painful emotions rising up, that you write in a journal whatever you feel like writing without judging what you jot down. Write down anything that comes up: anger, sadness, resentment, jealousy; just give yourself the gift of liberating yourself of anything that keeps you stuck. You will feel much better afterwards and you will be less tempted to contact your ex or to give in to his flirting.
 
2. You are not ready to face your abandonment wound
 
You keep hanging on for dear life to him because you are avoiding feeling abandoned or rejected. The little girl in you is hurt and your current separation brings up the unresolved emotions of that little girl in you that didn’t have the occasion to express herself and to have the safe space to do so in order to process whatever feelings she might have. Today, you can take that little girl in you by the hand and listen to her. What does she want to tell you? What emotions does she want to express: sadness, anger, feelings of being abandoned or rejected, feeling unworthy of love, not good enough, not perfect, not lovable? Become the mother that you never had by giving yourself the love and attention that you are missing.
 
3. You hope that this time around he will change
 
He keeps making promises and he is so convincing! You say to yourself that this time around he will keep his promises and that he really understands that you are serious this time. The truth is that he will most probably change in his next relationship and not with you. Why? Because as long as you keep coming back to him you are sending him the same message over and over, which is: keep doing what you are doing because I will keep coming back. You will have to leave him for good in order for him to really understand the lesson and apply it in his next relationship.
 
4. You are not ready to face the truth
 
Cutting the relationship for good is making you scared because that would make you come to some irrational and wrong conclusions:
 
· that there will not be another man that will love you;
· that you are not worthy of love;
· that you will end up alone and lonely;
· that you can’t deal with the pain of losing him for good;
· that you are doing a mistake because he is the one;
· that you should accept him as he is because afterall, he is not so bad.
 
These are limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in place and if you don’t take the time to demystify and transform them, you will lose precious time by staying stuck and not having the joy of experiencing something much better. There is someone out there for you who will treat you with the love, respect and attention that you truly deserve but because you are not willing to let go of these beliefs, you will not get to experience.
 
I hope that these 4 points bring you more awareness into why you keep going back to your ex and that you find a way out of this toxic pattern in order to find the true and bounty love that you deserve!
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!

Why you attract narcissistic partners – I explain it right here:

If you had parents or caretakers that lacked empathy or didn’t put your needs first as a child, you learned that your emotional needs weren’t important and that you were neither important nor valued. You learned to shut yourself off in order to not feel anymore because there was no empathy available for you and you learned to put other people’s needs first in order to feel loved, valued, recognized and important.
 
If you had to grow up very fast because you had to take care of either one of your parents or of your siblings (either emotionally or physically), you didn’t get to experience a nurturing and loving relationship by being taken care of or that relationship was cut very short. As a consequence, you didn’t learn to put yourself first and to take care of your needs because someone else was relying on you for their survival.
 
By adopting these patterns of survival yourself, later on, as an adult, you will attract partners that most often put their needs first and that lack empathy towards you. You will find that normal because this is the way that you were raised and you will not see the red flags at first and you might even think that it’s your fault because in some way you are not lovable, nor important nor valuable.
 
It is important to take a step back and ask yourself the following questions:
 
• Is it time for me to be the most important person in my life?
• Am I tired of always feeling that my emotions are not important?
• Am I tired of looking for validation outside of myself?
• Don’t I deserve better that being treated as not important?
• Do I deserve to be loved and to love myself?
• Do I deserve someone that gives importance to my needs?
• Do I deserve someone whom is emotionally available and to whom I can talk to?
 
If your answer to most of the above questions is yes, then you are ready to give yourself the importance and value that you deserve by asking for what you deserve and if your partner can not give you that maybe you are ready to heal yourself and attract your true love soulmate!
 
Mystical Queen Goddess
Counselling therapist, spiritual guide and creator of the Transformation 360 method.
Because your Inner Queen wants you to experience abundance at all levels!