Most of us have been insecure when we were dating. We can be insecure about the way we look, how we are perceived by our date, if he would like us the way we like him, etc. If you struggle with insecurities when dating, here are some tips on how you can overcome yours.
1. If you don’t like the way you look
Yes, there can be men that don’t like the way you look but if a man really is interested in you, he will not stop at the physical side of you. He will want to get to know you more for your personality and because he feels a connection with you. Who knows, he might even like the way you look! If a man is not interested in you because he’s not attracted to you than he is not the right one for you. So you can be at peace with you body and accept yourself as you are. The right man for you will accept you as you are with no conditions. Yes, the majority of man are attracted by the looks of a women but not all of them. There are men whom are looking for a soul to soul connection and will feel attracted to you despite a few extra kilos or you being too skinny. The best way to protect yourself is to put a full picture of yourself on your dating profile. Just look natural and post a recent picture of yourself. Never put a picture of someone else because you might regret it and you’ll sabotage your chances of the date going well.
2. If you have low self-esteem
I don’t recommend dating if you have low self-esteem but if you really want to, here are some tips. If you are someone whom is always comparing herself with others and seeing yourself less than, it is time for you to embrace the unique being that you are. There is no one better than you or lesser than you. We are all so different, so original and unique. You are a unique combination of qualities, gifts, talents, defaults and personality. There never was, there is not and there will never be someone like you. You were made of a unique DNA and you should choose to see your strengths and try to better your weaknesses and asks for help where you need to. We can not have it all. Maybe you have an emotional intelligence while others have an intellectual intelligence, maybe you are very creative while others are more hands on, maybe you are very visual when you try to learn something new while others are rely more on their rational mind, maybe you dance very well while others can’t. No one is perfect and we are all different. The more you embrace your unique DNA, the more you will be at peace with yourself and be happier.
3. You are afraid you won’t be able to have a conversation with your date
You can let him lead the conversation and don’t try to fill in all the empty spaces. Speak from the heart instead of from your head. If you just try to fill the conversation with superficial talk, he won’t get to connect with you in an authentic way. Let him get to know you and don’t speak badly about your past relationships, you don’t want to appear as a negative woman that is stuck in the past. The more you have made peace with the past and you ready for a new relationship without being stuck in what happened in your past relationships, the better the date will go. If you are bored with you date, then cut it short and don’t lose your time trying to please him. You don’t want to give him the wrong impression and make him lose his time either.
4. You are afraid he’ll find you weird
If you are afraid he’ll find you weird, it means that you don’t accept yourself being different than others. It all comes back to the same thing: the more you accept yourself, the easiest will be for you on the dating scene. I used to find myself weird because I often have my head in the clouds, because I have a very different way of seeing things and because I think in a different way than the majority of people, plus I am quite sensitive. Until I realized that my difference and weirdness can become qualities in a world where everyone tries to be a white sheep within a mass of white sheep. I encourage you to be a pink or fuchsia sheep and to stand out from other people by being the real you, the authentic you that you are.
5. You have plenty of negative thoughts about yourself when dating
If you say to yourself plenty of negative things, it’s time for you to transform your mindset. Make a list of positive affirmations and repeat them in your mind as soon as you wake up and just before going to bed. You can also repeat them in your head or out loud just before meeting your date. They will help you feel confident and secure within yourself. You can choose affirmations like: I am enough; I am valuable; I accept myself as I am, I am perfectly imperfect; The right guy will be interested in me; I am much more than my body; I can bring value in a relationship; I love and respect myself.
6. You are afraid he’ll notice your imperfections
We are all imperfect, so he will end up one day knowing all your imperfections if you choose to be in a long-term relationship with him. Him noticing them earlier or later won’t make him leave you if you are the one for him. He won’t expect you to be perfect because he knows (unless he is narcissistic) that he isn’t either. You don’t need to be perfect in order to be loved or valued. You are enough as you are. The right man will love you with your imperfections the same way that you would love and accept him with his own imperfections. If you tend to idealize the men in your life, it is time for you to make them step down of that pedestal that you put them on, and give them their rightful place: the exact level that you are, equally to yours.
7. You are afraid you will fall for the wrong guy
The better way to protect yourself is to get to know him. Take at least 2 months before getting involved sexually with him. There is nothing better than time in order to get to know a person. If you get involved sexually too early with him, you will lose any sense of perception of whom he really is. Us women, tend to fall in love quickly when we get intimate with a partner and keeping a distance will help us with our discernment. Men don’t fall in love when they have sex with you, instead, they fall in love when they establish a heart to heart connection with you. You should aim to communicate openly and authentically with a man if you want him to fall in love with you. The more you protect your heart because you are afraid of being hurt and don’t show up as you truly are, the less chances you have to establish a true heart to heart connection. There is a double advantage in taking your time in order to know more about his personality: make him fall in love with you and getting to know the real him. By consequence, you will know he’s a bad choice before you risk falling in love with the wrong person and you will have enough discernment in order to stop the relationship before it gets sour.
8. You are afraid that you don’t have what it takes to impress him
In order to impress a guy that is meant for you, you just need to be yourself. He will smell you from a mile away if you are insecure, not confident, to easy to get, etc. This is why I don’t recommend that you date until you become confident, that you love and respect yourself. If you believe in the law of attraction, you’ll understand that you attract what you are, not what you want. If you have a low energy vibration, you will attract low vibe man. The more you work on yourself, the higher your energy will be and you’ll attract a better quality of man. You don’t need to do anything extra in order to impress a man. Just be authentically you and accept yourself as you are and that will transpire in you being confident.
If you have other insecurities that I haven’t touched upon in this article, just let me know below or DM me. In conclusion, accept yourself as you are and just let go of the outcome and if you really want to make sure you attract the right type of man, work on loving and accepting yourself just as you are.