4. Why you attract narcissistic partners – I explain it right here:

If you had parents or caretakers that lacked empathy or didn’t put your needs first as a child, you learned that your emotional needs weren’t important and that you were neither important nor valued. You learned to shut yourself off in order to not feel anymore because there was no empathy available for you and you learned to put other people’s needs first in order to feel loved, valued, recognized and important.
 
If you had to grow up very fast because you had to take care of either one of your parents or of your siblings (either emotionally or physically), you didn’t get to experience a nurturing and loving relationship by being taken care of or that relationship was cut very short. As a consequence, you didn’t learn to put yourself first and to take care of your needs because someone else was relying on you for their survival.
 
By adopting these patterns of survival yourself, later on, as an adult, you will attract partners that most often put their needs first and that lack empathy towards you. You will find that normal because this is the way that you were raised and you will not see the red flags at first and you might even think that it’s your fault because in some way you are not lovable, nor important nor valuable.
 
It is important to take a step back and ask yourself the following questions:
 
• Is it time for me to be the most important person in my life?
• Am I tired of always feeling that my emotions are not important?
• Am I tired of looking for validation outside of myself?
• Don’t I deserve better that being treated as not important?
• Do I deserve to be loved and to love myself?
• Do I deserve someone that gives importance to my needs?
• Do I deserve someone whom is emotionally available and to whom I can talk to?
 
If your answer to most of the above questions is yes, then you are ready to give yourself the importance and value that you deserve by asking for what you deserve and if your partner can not give you that maybe you are ready to heal yourself and attract your true love soulmate!

5. Don’t search for your soulmate before you do this

Are you planning to go on a dating site but you have a past of attracting the wrong partners? Then stop. This is not the right time to look for a partner. If you are still dealing with self-love, self-esteem issues or self-respect issues, this is the worst mistake you could do if you want to find the right partner!
 
Let me explain why. The fact that you have still deep healing to do is a major sign that you have negative limiting beliefs about yourself. Like: I don’t deserve to be loved; In order to be valued, I have to do and to give to others; In order to be loved, I have to let others step on my boundaries; I am not enough; I have little value; I am not important; my needs are not important, etc.
 
You want to attract your true love soulmate right? Then you need to know how manifestation works. We attract exactly what we are and think that we are. If we think bad thoughts about ourselves, we will attract men that will show, as a mirror, that what we believe about ourselves is true. So to make it simple for you: if you hold a belief that you are not important, you will attract a partner that will treat you in a way that you will make you feel not important. If you believe that you are unworthy of love, you will be treated in a way that makes you feel unloved or on the contrary, nothing will be enough for you to feel loved because deep inside of yourself, you don’t believe that you deserve to be loved. Therefore, it is crucial that you work on your mindset before any tentative of finding your soulmate to put all the chances of success on your side and not waste any more time.
 
Also, if you still have emotional wounds that haven’t been healed, they will be brought up in the relationship because there is nothing better than a romantic partner to wake in us what needs to come to the surface and be healed. They will trigger us exactly where we need to be triggered, in order for the junk to come to the surface and be brought to the light. If we don’t know how to release our pain in a healthy way, we will adopt unhealthy patterns in order to not feel our pain and this will create discord in our relationship. If you take the time to work on your communication skills and how to transform your emotional wounds, you will have better chances at succeeding.
 
Working on yourself it’s like putting together a beautiful fruit tart. If the basis is not solid and can’t hold the fruit together along with the custard, nothing will stay put and it will eventually come apart. Therefore, we need to make sure the basis of the relationship with ourself is solid before we try to build a relationship with someone else.
 
If we want to find a partner that makes us feel loved, cherished, valued, nourished and respected, we need to deeply believe that we are worthy of all these things. If not, we will attract exactly our mirror and then we will have to start again and again, losing precious years because we are not willing to stop and take a long look at ourself. If you have suffered from emotional or physical abuse or neglect in your past, it is vital that you work on yourself and the sooner you do it, the better you will get at attracting the right partner for you.

6. The secret to a healthy self-esteem in order to attract your Soulmate

The majority of us have been brought up to believe that self-esteem should come from how much we accomplish in life, what we do for others, how we show up in the world or how we are better than others. This is straight @#$….it and it made us become something that we are not. We have ended up wearing a mask, suffering from comparison, having trouble saying no or trying to impress others.
 
There is a much simpler definition to self-esteem. Self-esteem should be based on the capacity to recognize ourselves as a unique and beautiful creation of God (Creator of the Universe). Every woman is God’s creation, therefore, every woman should have self-esteem for herself, period.
If you catch yourself comparing yourself to other women, know that you will always end up losing, since you would have to be the best in the world at something in order to not lose. By simply accepting yourself as you are and choosing to see your qualities and gifts as enough, you will become more solid and confident. Try to be a better version that yesterday and one day you will be your best version!
 
If you have trouble saying no to people by fear of them disapproving of you or losing the value in their eyes, remember that no one’s opinion is more important than yours. When you fall into the trap of giving your power away by giving more importance to the opinion of others, you are self-abandoning. The next time if feel like saying “no” to someone instead of an﮴”yes”, remember that you don’t owe nothing to anyone and you are free of choosing yourself. If you lose their friendship or admiration, it means that there was nothing solid to begin with in the beginning. By doing so, you will gain more self-respect and self-esteem.
 
If you hide facets of yourself in order to be something that you think it’s more valuable than what you already are, it is time for you to reclaim your true self. All the facets of your inner diamond are precious and you should show them to the world, because they make you the unique person that you are. A simple way of finding out which parts of yourself are hidden, it’s to be aware of what qualities you admire in others or you are envious of. Those qualities are already in you and are just waiting to be claimed by you in order to show themselves.
 
If you are killing yourself at work in order to prove your value, know that you are exhausting yourself in vain. You are already valuable and enough. You don’t need to be in burnout or almost there, to feel valuable or that you are worth something. This is all wrong! You got it all wrong and it’s not your fault! It’s just the way you were brought up and it’s time now for you to release all the pressure you are putting on yourself (I already did this in the past and I had my lesson! I almost touched burnout when I realized that I was valuing myself from a wrong perspective!).
 
If you have a healthy self-esteem you won’t attract partners that take advantage of you or abuse you so it is very important to get your self-esteem back and realize that your unique blend of qualities, traits, personality and gifts make you so special!

7. Conditional love vs. unconditional love

In all my past relationships, I had hoped that I would be loved unconditionally and yet, I wasn’t (and maybe I wasn’t loving them unconditionally either!). There were two long relationships where I wasn’t ready to have kids and my partners chose to be with someone else because of that. My dream of being loved by someone no matter if I chose to have kids or not was crushed and then I realized that they wanted to have kids more than they wanted to be with me. Is this true and unconditional love? Or is this more of a transaction: I will stay with you as long as you give me what I want?

True unconditional love shouldn’t come with rules or conditions. True, unconditional love is a desire to be with the person that you love no matter if she gives you what you want or not. We should choose to be with our partner, not because we need him but because we want to be with him. True unconditional love doesn’t take into account: status, religion, fortune, origin or sex.

But, does that mean that you have to accept anything or everything? No, absolutely not! If your partner cheats on you or abuses you, you should not accept that! Because accepting cheating or any kind of abuse would mean that you don’t love yourself. When you truly love yourself, you know what is acceptable or not, you have an inner nudge that tells you: this is acceptable and this is not! This helps you to put healthy boundaries and to respect yourself.

The more you love yourself unconditionally, the more you will be able to love others unconditionally and to know how you allow others to treat you. When you truly love yourself, you will attract your mirror, meaning your true Love Soulmate that will love you with no conditions because they will want to share their life with you not because of what you give them but because of simply whom you are and that is exempt of conditions.

8. How do you attract the right type of men (20 ways)?

These are the 20 instances that will help you attract the right type of men and ideally your soulmate! 

1. When you affirm what you believe instead of nodding your head in approval while secretly not agreeing;
2. When you give yourself importance instead of accepting any treatment a man gives you;
3. When you insist on getting your needs met instead of accepting crumbs;
4. When you don’t take the lead in the relationship and you stay in your feminine energy within the relationship;
5. When you express your need for alone time instead of wanting to spend all your time with them;
6. When you don’t call and text constantly because you don’t hear for him;
7. When you don’t wait for him to call you and instead live happily alone or with him;
8. When you value yourself to have your own activities and passions;
9. When you don’t give in to sex because they put pressure on you;
10. When you know yourself enough to know what is ok with you and what is not ok with you;
11. When you put healthy limits and you make yourself respected;
12. When you love yourself and accept yourself as you are;
13. When you have healthy self-esteem and know your worth;
14. When you don’t feel the need to be the savior of someone in order to be loved or feel secure;
15. When you find security within yourself first;
16. When you know how to express your emotions and see your own responsibility;
17. When you don’t dress to attract men sexually because you think your value is based on your physique;
18. When you are ready to develop an emotional and intimate connection with your partner;
19. When you have dealt with past emotional wounds and you are not stuck in the past;
20. When you have transformed your limiting beliefs that keep you limited to receive or to give love.

9. The biggest shift you have to make in order to get over him!

Since your childhood, some of you had been abused in a way or another so you have learned to walk on eggshells and put all your attention on others. You learned to hide your true self in order to be accepted, to reject yourself in order to be loved, to say what they wanted to hear in order to be safe and secure. You forgot about yourself and you learned to be in survival mode because you had to survive! You were dependent on the authority figures in your life so you had no choice but to deny yourself the right to be loved for simply whom you were and to be accepted and recognized for your difference and unique personality.
 
Today, you find yourself stuck in the same pattern but rather with your ex-partner. You want him to come back to you and love you the way you would want to be loved. You want him to make you feel important and a priority in his life, to be faithful and loving towards you. The thing you don’t see right now is that you are still waiting for someone that is exterior to you to give you something that you can give yourself.
 
You are not in a position of needing someone anymore to make your feel loved and secure. Still, you keep yourself in this victim mentality, where you are not obtaining what you truly deserve. How can you get out of this victim position and take your power back and most importantly, are you ready to take your power back? To not give the satisfaction of your needs to someone else? Are you ready to turn all the focus and attention on to yourself and to give yourself the love and importance that you seek? It takes only one decision, the decision to become the most important person in your life.
 
I used to be a victim of my love mentality. That someone else should love me and I refused to love myself. That someone else should make me his priority and not making myself a priority. That someone else should fulfill my needs and not myself. I was stuck in this position where I was giving my power away and felt so stuck. Stuck in attracting the wrong type of men that treated me poorly or that were emotional unavailable. I was stuck in doing everything so that my ex would come back to me. I was so obsessed with this idea that he was the one for me and that no one else could give me what he gave me. I was so wrong. I had no little idea of what true, unconditional love was. I had no idea of how much love and affection and emotional availability a partner could give me until I met my true love soulmate partner.
 
This is what I wish for you but it was a long road for me and I can save you years of hardship and anxiety. I can help you transform these negative limiting beliefs that keep you stuck and help you talk through and transform that trauma so that you open yourself up to true love and that you find peace of mind and get your self-esteem back. 
 
Are you ready to transform yourself in order to take your power back and open yourself up to true unconditional love? Book a discovery call with me so that we see if we are a fit to work together. Take advantage of the fact that I am mentor whom still gives one on one mentoring and therapy sessions so I will give you all my undivided attention vs. a group setting where you have to share your allotted time. Take advantage of my unique method of transforming limiting beliefs in a matter of seconds (no one knows this technique since I invented it myself and it completely transformed my life). 

10. How to overcome your insecurities when dating

Most of us have been insecure when we were dating. We can be insecure about the way we look, how we are perceived by our date, if he would like us the way we like him, etc. If you struggle with insecurities when dating, here are some tips on how you can overcome yours.

1. If you don’t like the way you look

Yes, there can be men that don’t like the way you look but if a man really is interested in you, he will not stop at the physical side of you. He will want to get to know you more for your personality and because he feels a connection with you. Who knows, he might even like the way you look! If a man is not interested in you because he’s not attracted to you than he is not the right one for you. So you can be at peace with you body and accept yourself as you are. The right man for you will accept you as you are with no conditions. Yes, the majority of man are attracted by the looks of a women but not all of them. There are men whom are looking for a soul to soul connection and will feel attracted to you despite a few extra kilos or you being too skinny. The best way to protect yourself is to put a full picture of yourself on your dating profile. Just look natural and post a recent picture of yourself. Never put a picture of someone else because you might regret it and you’ll sabotage your chances of the date going well.

2. If you have low self-esteem

I don’t recommend dating if you have low self-esteem but if you really want to, here are some tips. If you are someone whom is always comparing herself with others and seeing yourself less than, it is time for you to embrace the unique being that you are. There is no one better than you or lesser than you. We are all so different, so original and unique. You are a unique combination of qualities, gifts, talents, defaults and personality. There never was, there is not and there will never be someone like you. You were made of a unique DNA and you should choose to see your strengths and try to better your weaknesses and asks for help where you need to. We can not have it all. Maybe you have an emotional intelligence while others have an intellectual intelligence, maybe you are very creative while others are more hands on, maybe you are very visual when you try to learn something new while others are rely more on their rational mind, maybe you dance very well while others can’t. No one is perfect and we are all different. The more you embrace your unique DNA, the more you will be at peace with yourself and be happier.

3. You are afraid you won’t be able to have a conversation with your date

You can let him lead the conversation and don’t try to fill in all the empty spaces. Speak from the heart instead of from your head. If you just try to fill the conversation with superficial talk, he won’t get to connect with you in an authentic way. Let him get to know you and don’t speak badly about your past relationships, you don’t want to appear as a negative woman that is stuck in the past. The more you have made peace with the past and you ready for a new relationship without being stuck in what happened in your past relationships, the better the date will go. If you are bored with you date, then cut it short and don’t lose your time trying to please him. You don’t want to give him the wrong impression and make him lose his time either.

4. You are afraid he’ll find you weird

If you are afraid he’ll find you weird, it means that you don’t accept yourself being different than others. It all comes back to the same thing: the more you accept yourself, the easiest will be for you on the dating scene. I used to find myself weird because I often have my head in the clouds, because I have a very different way of seeing things and because I think in a different way than the majority of people, plus I am quite sensitive. Until I realized that my difference and weirdness can become qualities in a world where everyone tries to be a white sheep within a mass of white sheep. I encourage you to be a pink or fuchsia sheep and to stand out from other people by being the real you, the authentic you that you are.

5. You have plenty of negative thoughts about yourself when dating

If you say to yourself plenty of negative things, it’s time for you to transform your mindset. Make a list of positive affirmations and repeat them in your mind as soon as you wake up and just before going to bed. You can also repeat them in your head or out loud just before meeting your date. They will help you feel confident and secure within yourself. You can choose affirmations like: I am enough; I am valuable; I accept myself as I am, I am perfectly imperfect; The right guy will be interested in me; I am much more than my body; I can bring value in a relationship; I love and respect myself.

6. You are afraid he’ll notice your imperfections

We are all imperfect, so he will end up one day knowing all your imperfections if you choose to be in a long-term relationship with him. Him noticing them earlier or later won’t make him leave you if you are the one for him. He won’t expect you to be perfect because he knows (unless he is narcissistic) that he isn’t either. You don’t need to be perfect in order to be loved or valued. You are enough as you are. The right man will love you with your imperfections the same way that you would love and accept him with his own imperfections. If you tend to idealize the men in your life, it is time for you to make them step down of that pedestal that you put them on, and give them their rightful place: the exact level that you are, equally to yours.

7. You are afraid you will fall for the wrong guy

The better way to protect yourself is to get to know him. Take at least 2 months before getting involved sexually with him. There is nothing better than time in order to get to know a person. If you get involved sexually too early with him, you will lose any sense of perception of whom he really is. Us women, tend to fall in love quickly when we get intimate with a partner and keeping a distance will help us with our discernment. Men don’t fall in love when they have sex with you, instead, they fall in love when they establish a heart to heart connection with you. You should aim to communicate openly and authentically with a man if you want him to fall in love with you. The more you protect your heart because you are afraid of being hurt and don’t show up as you truly are, the less chances you have to establish a true heart to heart connection. There is a double advantage in taking your time in order to know more about his personality: make him fall in love with you and getting to know the real him. By consequence, you will know he’s a bad choice before you risk falling in love with the wrong person and you will have enough discernment in order to stop the relationship before it gets sour.

8. You are afraid that you don’t have what it takes to impress him

In order to impress a guy that is meant for you, you just need to be yourself. He will smell you from a mile away if you are insecure, not confident, to easy to get, etc. This is why I don’t recommend that you date until you become confident, that you love and respect yourself. If you believe in the law of attraction, you’ll understand that you attract what you are, not what you want. If you have a low energy vibration, you will attract low vibe man. The more you work on yourself, the higher your energy will be and you’ll attract a better quality of man. You don’t need to do anything extra in order to impress a man. Just be authentically you and accept yourself as you are and that will transpire in you being confident.

If you have other insecurities that I haven’t touched upon in this article, just let me know below or DM me. In conclusion, accept yourself as you are and just let go of the outcome and if you really want to make sure you attract the right type of man, work on loving and accepting yourself just as you are.  

13. 3 powerful ways to take care of you when you feel abandoned

1. Take your power back

When we feel abandoned, we have the impression that we are all alone and powerless. Why? Because your abandonment wound has been awakened and since most of our emotional baggage is coming from our childhood buried emotions, we feel exactly like a powerless and lonely child. By having this eagle sight on this situation, meaning: looking at your situation from a higher perspective, you can realize that you are now an adult whom has the power to choose in her life and that you don’t depend on anyone anymore like you did in your childhood. This will make you feel empowered and can get you out of that victim mood that keeps you stuck in suffering. Today, you get to choose: what do you need in order to feel better, how can you take care of you during this difficult period, whom can you call so that you feel less lonely? Do you feel that nobody loves you? Maybe it’s time to love yourself at last! By switching from a powerless child perspective and taking your adult power back, you can completely change your behavior, suffer less and heal even faster. By the way, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t cry or express your feelings. Expressing your feelings is a healthy step in processing your difficult emotions and connecting more to your joy and hope. This way, you help your inner child get rid of the emotional baggage that is trapped in your body and you get closer to your emotional freedom.

2. Cry your eyes out and express your anger

If you feel abandoned and you are angry, I want to let you know that behind your feeling of anger, there is always sadness. The more you hold on to you anger, the less you give yourself the permission to free yourself of your sadness. If you have trouble connecting to your sadness, you can 1st find a way to express your anger. Express your anger by hitting a pillow or your bed, or by writing anything that comes through your mind without judgement (don’t let your rational mind censor your thoughts or feelings) in order to let the intensity get out of your body. Once you have done that, getting in touch with your sadness will be much easier. Your sadness needs to be expressed as well in order to free yourself of your emotional pain and feel much better afterwards. You can let yourself cry and just be present to yourself instead of trying to cut yourself off from your feelings. You can get through this, you are not a powerless child anymore, you can!

3. Give yourself the best treatment

When you feel abandoned, self-care comes in 1st place in order to give some love to yourself. When you feel not loved it’s time for you to love yourself and answer your needs (physiological and emotional). Take care of your five senses: smell, sight, touch, taste, sound. Listen to beautiful relaxing music or more energetic music if you feel like it, enjoy a hot and comforting beverage, cover yourself with a soft blanket or enjoy a bubbly bath, burn your favorite scented candles, put a beautiful picture in front of your eyes or save it as a background on your laptop screen. By taking care of you and your 5 senses, you will feel that you shower yourself with care and attention and you will feel less depressed or angry. Learning to love yourself is the most difficult and the most important and rewarding step in recovery if you have an abandonment emotional wound.

I hope you will take some tips from this article and apply them when in need. 

14. How to know if you are truly loved by your man?

Ever wondering if your partner truly loves you? There are a few easy ways of knowing and I will describe a few of them in this article.

1. He takes you into consideration when he takes important decisions
2. When you cry, he takes you into his arms and comforts you
3. He respects your decisions and inspires you to be your best version
4. He loves spending time with you in person or he consistently calls or texts you
5. You feel that you are his priority
6. He loves and accepts you for whom you are, with your qualities and defaults
7. He is making plans with you for the future
8. He treats you with respect, love and adores you
9. He lets you have your space and is always happy to reconnect with you
10. He wants to have a deep emotional connection with you
11. He makes the effort to communicate with you when something is wrong
12. He tries to improve himself in order to be a better person when he feels free to do so

Anything you would like to this list? Feel free to do so in the comments below!

17. How Cinderella learned to communicate with her love partner

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Cinderella whom didn’t know how to express her true emotions with her love partner. She would get upset and blame him for how she felt. Nobody taught her how to get into contact with her emotions and whenever she would be submerged by painful feelings, she would try to find a solution outside of her by blaming someone else. This was causing her more trouble since nobody wanted to take the responsibility of her own pain.

She later learned that she was responsible of mothering herself by being empathic to herself and that behind every difficult emotion there was a lesson for her to learn or she would discover a part of herself that she was trying to deny or hide. She learned how to cry when she was sad, how to express her intensity when she was angry, how to accept her feelings of shame or guilt, how to forgive others by choosing to let go of her resentment. She slowly discovered whom she truly was, what she wanted out of life, she healed her own emotional wounds and she would no longer be triggered by what other said or did to her. When there was no more heartbreak to be triggered, she would feel safe and at peace no matter how others would react around her. She also learned to identify her limiting beliefs that were keeping her from loving herself or from accepting love from others. She was slowly but surely becoming a Queen, a woman that took responsibility for her own emotions and emotional scars by being loving to herself first.

Cinderella learned how to communicate her feelings without blaming her love partner and she took responsibility for how she felt. This way of being made her feel empowered even if she had to accept to be vulnerable and take the risk of being rejected. She knew that no matter how her love partner would react to what she had to say, she could always mother herself and be there for herself. She felt free of being herself no matter the circumstances.

Surprisingly, when she started doing that, her love partner stopped running away and listened to her because he was no longer feeling guilty or pressured to be around her toxic behavior. She communicated to him that she only needed to be listened without being interrupted and then she would listen to him. They slowly learned how to communicate without interrupting each other and everything become so much easier and free-flowing. By facing her own shadows, Cinderella learned how to truly be herself, authentic and vulnerable in front of the man she loved. Her communication skills improved and her love relationship improved as well as a result of the work she did on herself.

And you, do you have trouble communicating in your relationships? Is your love partner available emotionally when you have deeper issues to discuss? Or do they run when you need them the most because they don’t know how to deal with your anger or sadness? Don’t be like Cinderella whom felt abandoned each time she would try to fix the problem outside of herself instead of looking at her own shadow and then try to communicate in a responsible way with her love partner.