Once upon a time, there was a girl named Cinderella whom didn’t know how to express her true emotions with her love partner. She would get upset and blame him for how she felt. Nobody taught her how to get into contact with her emotions and whenever she would be submerged by painful feelings, she would try to find a solution outside of her by blaming someone else. This was causing her more trouble since nobody wanted to take the responsibility of her own pain.
She later learned that she was responsible of mothering herself by being empathic to herself and that behind every difficult emotion there was a lesson for her to learn or she would discover a part of herself that she was trying to deny or hide. She learned how to cry when she was sad, how to express her intensity when she was angry, how to accept her feelings of shame or guilt, how to forgive others by choosing to let go of her resentment. She slowly discovered whom she truly was, what she wanted out of life, she healed her own emotional wounds and she would no longer be triggered by what other said or did to her. When there was no more heartbreak to be triggered, she would feel safe and at peace no matter how others would react around her. She also learned to identify her limiting beliefs that were keeping her from loving herself or from accepting love from others. She was slowly but surely becoming a Queen, a woman that took responsibility for her own emotions and emotional scars by being loving to herself first.
Cinderella learned how to communicate her feelings without blaming her love partner and she took responsibility for how she felt. This way of being made her feel empowered even if she had to accept to be vulnerable and take the risk of being rejected. She knew that no matter how her love partner would react to what she had to say, she could always mother herself and be there for herself. She felt free of being herself no matter the circumstances.
Surprisingly, when she started doing that, her love partner stopped running away and listened to her because he was no longer feeling guilty or pressured to be around her toxic behavior. She communicated to him that she only needed to be listened without being interrupted and then she would listen to him. They slowly learned how to communicate without interrupting each other and everything become so much easier and free-flowing. By facing her own shadows, Cinderella learned how to truly be herself, authentic and vulnerable in front of the man she loved. Her communication skills improved and her love relationship improved as well as a result of the work she did on herself.
And you, do you have trouble communicating in your relationships? Is your love partner available emotionally when you have deeper issues to discuss? Or do they run when you need them the most because they don’t know how to deal with your anger or sadness? Don’t be like Cinderella whom felt abandoned each time she would try to fix the problem outside of herself instead of looking at her own shadow and then try to communicate in a responsible way with her love partner.