1. Take your power back
When we feel abandoned, we have the impression that we are all alone and powerless. Why? Because your abandonment wound has been awakened and since most of our emotional baggage is coming from our childhood buried emotions, we feel exactly like a powerless and lonely child. By having this eagle sight on this situation, meaning: looking at your situation from a higher perspective, you can realize that you are now an adult whom has the power to choose in her life and that you don’t depend on anyone anymore like you did in your childhood. This will make you feel empowered and can get you out of that victim mood that keeps you stuck in suffering. Today, you get to choose: what do you need in order to feel better, how can you take care of you during this difficult period, whom can you call so that you feel less lonely? Do you feel that nobody loves you? Maybe it’s time to love yourself at last! By switching from a powerless child perspective and taking your adult power back, you can completely change your behavior, suffer less and heal even faster. By the way, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t cry or express your feelings. Expressing your feelings is a healthy step in processing your difficult emotions and connecting more to your joy and hope. This way, you help your inner child get rid of the emotional baggage that is trapped in your body and you get closer to your emotional freedom.
2. Cry your eyes out and express your anger
If you feel abandoned and you are angry, I want to let you know that behind your feeling of anger, there is always sadness. The more you hold on to you anger, the less you give yourself the permission to free yourself of your sadness. If you have trouble connecting to your sadness, you can 1st find a way to express your anger. Express your anger by hitting a pillow or your bed, or by writing anything that comes through your mind without judgement (don’t let your rational mind censor your thoughts or feelings) in order to let the intensity get out of your body. Once you have done that, getting in touch with your sadness will be much easier. Your sadness needs to be expressed as well in order to free yourself of your emotional pain and feel much better afterwards. You can let yourself cry and just be present to yourself instead of trying to cut yourself off from your feelings. You can get through this, you are not a powerless child anymore, you can!
3. Give yourself the best treatment
When you feel abandoned, self-care comes in 1st place in order to give some love to yourself. When you feel not loved it’s time for you to love yourself and answer your needs (physiological and emotional). Take care of your five senses: smell, sight, touch, taste, sound. Listen to beautiful relaxing music or more energetic music if you feel like it, enjoy a hot and comforting beverage, cover yourself with a soft blanket or enjoy a bubbly bath, burn your favorite scented candles, put a beautiful picture in front of your eyes or save it as a background on your laptop screen. By taking care of you and your 5 senses, you will feel that you shower yourself with care and attention and you will feel less depressed or angry. Learning to love yourself is the most difficult and the most important and rewarding step in recovery if you have an abandonment emotional wound.
I hope you will take some tips from this article and apply them when in need.