1. Express your emotions to your partner
If something bothers you and it’s hard for you to verbalize it, sit down with yourself and try to connect with your feelings. Jot down your feelings in a note book and when you get clear about what really bothers you, let your partner know that you would like to talk with him. Try to express yourself in a responsible way, without putting the guilt on him or making him feel responsible for your emotional built-up. Tell him clearly what you want and just express the fact that you want to be heard. Let him know that whatever his answer is, you will accept it. This way, he will feel free to give you a positive or negative answer without feeling pressured. Sometimes he will say yes and sometimes he will say no and he has the right to give you an honest answer, but don’t forget that in general, men want to please you and make you happy. Unless he is toxic, and this is a completely another story! The fact that you express yourself but you respect his position, will be beneficial for you and for him as well. The worst thing you can do is to hold your emotions inside, end up by having a huge emotional build-up and then starting screaming or be verbally violent towards him. I have been there myself in the past because I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions so believe me, I am not judging you! Since I have learned how to express myself, I felt so much more empowered and freer.
2. Have the courage to be vulnerable with your soulmate
Even if you fear rejection, try to show your vulnerable side and give him a chance to really know you. Do you usually have superficial conversations with him without ever going into more deep conversations about how you feel or don’t express the fact that you feel hurt or ignored? Do you tell yourself in your head that how you feel is not important? Are you afraid of being ignored by him or that he will change the subject? Did he already do that or is it just an irrational thought? Take a small chance and see how he reacts. The better he reacts and the more you will be ok with being vulnerable and as a consequence, he will also open his heart to you and tell you how he truly feels. It took me so many years to learn how to be vulnerable because in my childhood, I had learned that being sensitive was not normal or accepted. This made me to completely shut off from my emotions and don’t express how I truly felt.
3. Don’t confuse sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy
If you have never experienced emotional intimacy in your childhood, there is a high risk that you confuse sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy in your current love relationship. You will even want to have sexual intercourse to feel closer to your partner not knowing that real emotional intimacy comes from sharing your feelings, needs and opening your heart. In order to really connect with your soulmate, try instead to get closer to his heart and your sexual life will get even better.
4. Express your intense emotions first
Do you have the pattern of manifesting romantic partners that are not emotionally available? They run away as soon as you get upset and you have anger or resentment build-up? Those emotionally unavailable men will run away because they can’t take your intense emotions and don’t want to feel that it’s all their fault and responsibility. The way you can deal with this situation, is to express your anger or resentment by doing different things like: hit a pillow, take a tennis racket and hit your bed with it (it worked for me!). Anything that lets you express your intense emotional build-up but that doesn’t hurt anyone is perfect for you! Don’t be ashamed by how you feel. Us, human beings were created to have feelings so accept yourself with everything that you feel. As soon as you feel relieved, talk to your partner in a calm and responsible way and maybe this time around, he will be available to listen to you and not leave you by yourself.
If you have any questions, let me know below in the comments box.Â
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