If you have trouble accepting yourself, this can stem from your childhood. If you didn’t feel accepted as you were by your parents or caretakers you will have trouble accepting yourself later in life. You have internalized those negative voices in your head and your small loving inner voice is buried somewhere beneath all this noise: “You aren’t good enough”; “Look how better she is than you!; “You are so dumb”; “You cry too much; “You are too this or too that”; “Don’t do this, don’t be like that”. Being constantly critiqued, diminished, compared, laughed at, humiliated or judged will make you think that you are not ok as you are, that you should be something else, that you have to be like other people that you think that they are better than you, that you are damaged or weird, that what you are is not acceptable or ok, that you have to hide what makes you unique and original. The downside of that is that you hide what makes you so unique and beautiful and you learn to be a white sheep surrounded by other white sheep instead of being a pink sheep that is proud to be different.
Later in life, you don’t get to know and discover whom you truly are and accept yourself fully with all your facets whatever they are because you are either ashamed or scared to show them. You have to realize first that you don’t have to be anything that yourself since there never was, there is not and there will never be someone exactly like you. It is your uniqueness that makes you valuable and special. You have to learn to embrace your quirks and limits as well as your talents, gifts and difference. Learn to observe those negative voices in your head and to replace them with a kind and accepting voice that ignores that poisonous chattering in your head and instead has a loving and encouraging tone. You don’t have to be perfect, neither better than someone else, neither something else that you already are, you have to be your best version and strive to be better each day. You unique point of comparison should be the yesterday version of yourself.
Look at whom you admire and know that you have those same qualities and gifts as them or you can develop them with time. If not, you would not be able to recognize those same characteristics in them. You have to recuperate those facets of yourself that you learned to hide in order to be accepted or loved. Those facets of yourself are waiting for your permission to show themselves and help you become your best version!
If your current partner doesn’t accept you as you are, it is because he is your mirror. Your partner is there to mirror to you what you are doing to yourself in order for you to heal. It is a gift in disguise!
The more you learn to accept yourself as you are and less importance you will give about what others think of you. You also have to accept that it’s ok to not be fully accepted by others, it’s ok to not be loved by everyone. You are the only one that has the responsibility to love and accept yourself fully. You are God’s creation (or however you call the creator of the universe) and that makes you special and precious. Never forget that!