Are you one of those women that keeps going back to her ex? You would like to stop doing it but you can’t stop going back?
Here are 4 reasons that could explain why you keep falling into the same trap:
1. You don’t want to deal with difficult emotions
You would rather think about him or try to contact him rather to sit down and feel your emotions. You are afraid that some painful emotions would come up and that you would not be able to process them. I recommend that when you feel that painful emotions rising up, that you write in a journal whatever you feel like writing without judging what you jot down. Write down anything that comes up: anger, sadness, resentment, jealousy; just give yourself the gift of liberating yourself of anything that keeps you stuck. You will feel much better afterwards and you will be less tempted to contact your ex or to give in to his flirting.
2. You are not ready to face your abandonment wound
You keep hanging on for dear life to him because you are avoiding feeling abandoned or rejected. The little girl in you is hurt and your current separation brings up the unresolved emotions of that little girl in you that didn’t have the occasion to express herself and to have the safe space to do so in order to process whatever feelings she might have. Today, you can take that little girl in you by the hand and listen to her. What does she want to tell you? What emotions does she want to express: sadness, anger, feelings of being abandoned or rejected, feeling unworthy of love, not good enough, not perfect, not lovable? Become the mother that you never had by giving yourself the love and attention that you are missing.
3. You hope that this time around he will change
He keeps making promises and he is so convincing! You say to yourself that this time around he will keep his promises and that he really understands that you are serious this time. The truth is that he will most probably change in his next relationship and not with you. Why? Because as long as you keep coming back to him you are sending him the same message over and over, which is: keep doing what you are doing because I will keep coming back. You will have to leave him for good in order for him to really understand the lesson and apply it in his next relationship.
4. You are not ready to face the truth
Cutting the relationship for good is making you scared because that would make you come to some irrational and wrong conclusions:
· that there will not be another man that will love you;
· that you are not worthy of love;
· that you will end up alone and lonely;
· that you can’t deal with the pain of losing him for good;
· that you are doing a mistake because he is the one;
· that you should accept him as he is because afterall, he is not so bad.
These are limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in place and if you don’t take the time to demystify and transform them, you will lose precious time by staying stuck and not having the joy of experiencing something much better. There is someone out there for you who will treat you with the love, respect and attention that you truly deserve but because you are not willing to let go of these beliefs, you will not get to experience.
I hope that these 4 points bring you more awareness into why you keep going back to your ex and that you find a way out of this toxic pattern in order to find the true and bounty love that you deserve!