The majority of us have been brought up to believe that self-esteem should come from how much we accomplish in life, what we do for others, how we show up in the world or how we are better than others. This is straight @#$….it and it made us become something that we are not. We have ended up wearing a mask, suffering from comparison, having trouble saying no or trying to impress others.
There is a much simpler definition to self-esteem. Self-esteem should be based on the capacity to recognize ourselves as a unique and beautiful creation of God (Creator of the Universe). Every woman is God’s creation, therefore, every woman should have self-esteem for herself, period.
If you catch yourself comparing yourself to other women, know that you will always end up losing, since you would have to be the best in the world at something in order to not lose. By simply accepting yourself as you are and choosing to see your qualities and gifts as enough, you will become more solid and confident. Try to be a better version that yesterday and one day you will be your best version!
If you have trouble saying no to people by fear of them disapproving of you or losing the value in their eyes, remember that no one’s opinion is more important than yours. When you fall into the trap of giving your power away by giving more importance to the opinion of others, you are self-abandoning. The next time if feel like saying “no” to someone instead of an﮴”yes”, remember that you don’t owe nothing to anyone and you are free of choosing yourself. If you lose their friendship or admiration, it means that there was nothing solid to begin with in the beginning. By doing so, you will gain more self-respect and self-esteem.
If you hide facets of yourself in order to be something that you think it’s more valuable than what you already are, it is time for you to reclaim your true self. All the facets of your inner diamond are precious and you should show them to the world, because they make you the unique person that you are. A simple way of finding out which parts of yourself are hidden, it’s to be aware of what qualities you admire in others or you are envious of. Those qualities are already in you and are just waiting to be claimed by you in order to show themselves.
If you are killing yourself at work in order to prove your value, know that you are exhausting yourself in vain. You are already valuable and enough. You don’t need to be in burnout or almost there, to feel valuable or that you are worth something. This is all wrong! You got it all wrong and it’s not your fault! It’s just the way you were brought up and it’s time now for you to release all the pressure you are putting on yourself (I already did this in the past and I had my lesson! I almost touched burnout when I realized that I was valuing myself from a wrong perspective!).
If you have a healthy self-esteem you won’t attract partners that take advantage of you or abuse you so it is very important to get your self-esteem back and realize that your unique blend of qualities, traits, personality and gifts make you so special!